I Love Yoo Oneshots

Nessa x Rand -Rest

By very talented writer leech13 

I could feel every thump, thump of my broken heart. I had refused to acknowledge it—to even think those god forsaken words. She wasn't gone. She couldn't be. But here I was, kneeling on the cold ground in front of her. I could hear fate laughing as I looked upon the cruel grave stone and forced myself to accept it. My friend, girlfriend, fiancé, wife, the mother of my child, and all my love.

Nessa Lochlainn was dead.

I would never see her sparkling green eyes light up in amusement again. I'd never feel her bright red hair tickle my skin as she whipped her head around. I would never feel her long fingers intertwined with mine again. For days, I had kept the crushing feeling of grief away, telling myself, it's Nessa. She isn't going to leave me, or Nol. The dam finally broke.

I felt all the now broken promises and missed opportunities slam into me as I cried for the first time in a very long time. Uncontrollable sobs shook my body, my face contorted in the overwhelming sadness. Fat, hot tears spilled over my cheeks and I wanted nothing more than to be in her caring embrace, to hear her lovely voice one more time. The breath was stolen strait out of my lungs in gasps and sobs and incoherent words because Nessa is my air. How could anyone expect me to breathe again?

I almost didn't want to breathe anymore. But I have to.

Nol would hate me, I knew that. But I couldn't leave him to die. I couldn't let my son—Nessa's son—live without any love. He will hate me for five years, ten years, hell, maybe all his life. But he will live that life with at least an ounce of love.

I shook as I slowly rose to my feet, breath uneven because I still couldn't breathe without her and may never learn how, and wiped the tears from my face. I turned to walk away, knowing I might not be able to come back for a long time. I had to be there for my son. With a goal in mind, a place to go, I turned back and read the words on Nessa's gravestone, burning it into my mind as I left for our son, reciting those words over and over, making sure I would never forget.

Here lies Nessa Lochlainn.

eyes of emerald and hair like fire.

Loving mother and kind friend, rest.