Tw: Self harm, mentions of self harm, mental/ physical abuse
N I C K~
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"Dad we were just having fun i-" The loud sound of A slap reverberated off of the walls when A hand came in hard contact with Nick's face, cutting him off harshly.
"What the fuck makes you think I want to hear your excuses that are just as pathetic as you?" Nick's father spoke daggers into his heart, sharper than any blade. The boy stood speechless with a straight face, not a tear shed while his insides cried out to no avail in anguish. "Get out of my sight. I really don't want to see your face right now." Nick looked into his father's eyes, searching for any regret or love, only to be staring into soulless orbs that only showed anger and resentment. "GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY SIGHT!" Nick flinched violently and walked to his room.
-
Nick sat on his bed, playing with a metal lighter his grandfather had given him before his passing. While he opened it and closed it, and flicked it on and off, only one thing crossed his mind;
What it would feel like against his skin.
He stared at the flame that was ignited by his thumb, trying to imagine how his pale skin would burn and how his blood would -quite literally- boil underneath a burning hot layer of skin and fat. The sick and twisted thoughts danced in his mind hauntingly.
Nick knew he shouldn't. But other people do it so it's fine, he thought. It's not that big of a deal but people get addicted to this stuff
The two sides of his brain fought, they fought until bloody and bruised. They fought until someone won. They fought ferociously until Nick was pulling down his sweatpants and lifting the leg of his boxers ever so slightly.
He took in a deep breath before holding the flame to his inner thigh. He winced before breathing out shakily. His eyes shut tightly and his hand trembled, holding the lighter tightly as if it would fall out of his grasp.
He pulled his hand away, closing the lighter swiftly. "Fuck." He whispered to nobody, a tear rolling down his cheek. Nick looked at what he'd done to himself, seeing a fresh burn mark on his previously untainted thigh.
The tears kept coming, they spilt out of Nick's eyes silently. The burning sensation lingered, tingling up and down his leg. What The fuck did I just do?
-
The sound of forks against plates filled silence in the brunet's ears. Nick's parents got into a fight the night prior, which of course led to the boy taking out his anger on himself again. His father left and came back this morning hungover and still mad.
I wish I knew what Happened Nick thought as he analysed his mother's numb looking face. "What happened this time, you guys were doing fine a couple of days ago, even went on that date." His father sighed, obviously annoyed. " that's not something you need to know, especially after you and your dumbass friends decided to get drunk without our permission. "
"Oh, I'm sorry was I supposed to ask first?" Nick scoffed. " 'Hey daddy, can I have vodka and throw up all over myself and probably end up ruining the house? Pretty please?'" He mocked. His father dropped his fork on the plate in front of him, causing Nick to flinch slightly.
"Young man I advise you shut the fuck up and go to your goddamn room before I drag you there." He pointed a threatening finger at him, he spoke with venom and hatred lacing his tone. Nick's jaw clenched and he got up, walking up to his room silently, not bothering to bring his food with him.
Nick laid in his unmade bed, staring at the ceiling and listening to his parents argue over him. He heard his mother desperately defending him -as per usual.
The boy thought about the cruel words his father spoke as he pulled out his lighter from his bedside table's drawer.
"Honey?" Nick jumped, dropping the lighter on the floor. " Jesus, mom can you knock next time? " He said as his mother walked over to him, sitting on the bed next to him. "Sorry, Nicky. How are you doing lately?" She asked sweetly, resting a hand on her son's leg.
"Oh uh I'm fine" The woman frowned. "Honey, are you sure? I'm sorry about all the fighting that's been going on but-" She sighs. "I'll talk some sense into him, okay?" Nick nodded. Talking to him never works and you know it.
" I'm going to the store, you wanna come? I can drop you off at a friend's house if you want." Nick's mother asked, standing up. "Your dad doesn't have to know" She winked. "Sure, Thanks mom" Nick said with a chuckle, getting up as well.
-
The boy watched as his mother drove away, worried about what would happen when she got home. Nick shook the terrible thoughts from his head and walked up to the front door of Clay's house.
He rang the doorbell and waited for an answer. A girl with blond hair and light makeup on answered, it was Clay's sister, Drista. She smiled when she saw who was there. "Nick! Yo what's up?" She asked, stepping aside so the other could walk in.
"Nothing, really. Is clay here?" Drista nodded. "Yeah, But, I haven't seen you since my 16th birthday, you avoiding me or something? " She joked and Nick chuckled in response. "No, no, just busy. I'm gonna go talk to your brother." She smiled, closing the door and walking to the living room presumably to watch t.v.
Nick opened the door to his friend's room, immediately ignored by the boy who had on headphones, facing his monitor which had some new horror indie game displayed on it. The screen went black and Clay flinched at the sight of a tall figure, whipping his head back to see his friend standing there.
"What the fuck- you scared me." He said with a smile, pausing the game he was playing and taking off his headphones. Nick went over to sit on Clay's bed that was next to the blond boy himself. "What's up?" He asked, leaning back in his chair.
" Eh, nothing. My mom dropped me off because dad's being weird. " Clay's smile dropped slowly. "Oh..you staying the night again?" Nick shrugged. " Probably. Home is the last place I want to be right now. " The blond leapt up and hugged Nick, who hadn't realized he started crying. "It's okay, I'm here." He whispered. Nick wiped his face clear of salty tears as Clay pulled away from the embrace.
" Sorry I'm kind of a mess. " Nick chuckled sadly. "I...can I tell you something? It's like, personal, I guess." He asked. " Yes, I'm here to listen. " Clay replied sincerely. The brunet hesitated, thoughts in a blurred mess. "I- shit I don't really know how to say it." Tears threatened to spill once again as Nick couldn't help but feel sickly weak.
"I burned myself. On purpose. I don't even really know why. " Clay blinked rapidly, holding back tears. "it's stupid, isn't it" A pause. "Nothing about my best friends feelings are stupid. Don't say that shit" Clay immediately quipped back. "..how many times?" Nick sighed. " Like, five? I don't know. I..felt like I needed to tell someone. It's the only thing I can think about."
"I'm glad you told me, Nick."
♥↪~
1259 words.
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Sweet adolescence |•| !DISCONTINUED!
Fanfiction"it's stupid, isn't it" A pause. "Nothing about my best friends feelings are stupid. Don't say that shit" ||| A story following five clueless teenage boys and their different perspectives on the events in their lives during sweet, sweet adolescence...
