Married, on paper.

59. No baby?

"Easy baby... Take your time... Do you need help? Do i need to carry you?" I ask as we walk to the front door... "No i will be fine..." Mya whispers forcing a smile at me... She had woken up about an hour after the surgery... She had been given the, all clear to go home after she had eaten something... With strict instructions to take it easy... She had not said much... She had woken up. The surgeon had told her that everything had gone as planned and she should be fully recovered in a week or 2, to take it easy and absolutely no heavy lifting. She had thanked him and shut down after that... Only short yes or no answers came out when i asked her something... 

Carly had left before she had woken up. But not before she bought some comfortable clothes for Mya downstairs in one of the hospital shops. I had asked her to leave as i did not know if Mya would appreciate her being here... I thanked her for being there and she understood telling me to call if we needed something. As we waited for the nurse with the discharge papers, she had pulled me into bed and cuddled into me... That was all... Not a word was said... I was scared to hurt her at first but i sensed she needed some comfort and i was certainly not going to deny her that. It was kind of comforting. At least she wanted me to comfort her...

As soon as i closed the front door behind us we heard the dogs and Oliver run up... I stood ready to catch them as he wanted to jump in Mya's arms... "Easy buddy... Mommy is still a bit sore, so we need to be careful with her." I say to him while the dogs calm down immediately seeming to sense that Mya is not well. "Did the doctor fix you mom?" He asks the worry evident in his voice and i look up as ma appears in the doorway... "Yeah sweetie... The doctors fixed me..." She mumbles and bends over her face riddled in pain as she kisses Oliver's cheek... Oliver has the biggest smile ever on his face, happy with that news.

"Mommy is tired... So, she is going to lay down and take a nap..." Mya says to Oliver caressing his cheek. She looks at me and i kiss her cheek... "I'll be right with you baby..." I say and she nods before walking off... I sigh and look at ma who looks at me worried... "Hey bud... Why dont you go and make your mom a nice drawing..." I say and he nods and runs off with the dogs in tow... 

"Mya is taking it hard..." Ma says walking over to me and giving me a hug... "I think so... She hasn't said much..." I mumble as ma and i pull out of the hug... "She needs time... You both do... It is a lot to take in... Finding out your pregnant but that it is not a pregnancy that will turn into a baby..." She says and i sigh... "Yeah... It was definitely a shock... It was not like we were trying for a baby... But i dont know... The idea was nice... I got the idea that Mya thought the same... Although that she would not believe it a first... For a split second there was some sense of happiness... Joy... I dont know... The idea of having a baby...." I mumble but all of a sudden, we get cut off... 

"Mommy is having a baby?" We all of a sudden hear and i look in horror as Oliver appears all excited... "Shit..." I mumble and sigh... I walk over to Oliver and take his hand taking him to the kitchen... "Okay bud... Time for a little chat..." I say and he looks at me confused... I lift him up and sit him down on the counter... It had become a thing to sit him down on the counter for serious talks... 

"Mommy is not having a baby bud..." I say and i smile a little as he seems a bit disappointed.  I smile because at least i now know that he would not hate the idea of a brother or sister... "But you said..." He starts and i sigh... "I know bud... But normally when a mom has a baby, the baby is in her belly..." I say and he nods... "But this baby was not in her belly... Her body made a little mistake... That is why she got sick... So, the doctor had to make her better... But to make her better they had to take the baby away..." I say not knowing how else to explain it for him to understand... I look at ma, and she gives me a reassuring smile that i am doing great...

"No baby?" He asks looking a little sad and i shake my head... "No bud... No baby..." I say and he takes a deep breath... "Is mommy, okay?" He asks and i have to fight my tears... "She will be bud... But she is a bit sad, and she is still a bit sore..." I say and he nods... "I will make her a big painting to cheer her up..." He says and i smile and hug him... "She will love that bud..." I say and lift him up... He doesn't let go as he hugs me tight... "Dad?" He whispers and i hum... "Are you sad?" He whispers and i sigh... "A little bit bud... But i am mostly happy that your mom is okay... That is the most important thing, right? That your mom is okay..." I say taking a deep, deep breath... "Yes... But i am glad mommy is better..." He murmurs and i force a smile... I put him down and he goes to get all his art supplies... I sigh thinking about it all. She might be physically fine soon... But mentally... I have no clue...

"Are you okay?" Ma asks and i shrug my shoulders... "Let's not talk about it now... Oliver apparently hears more then we think..." I mumble and ma nods... "Well i will leave... Oliver has had dinner... I put some leftovers in the fridge in case you both are hungry..." She says and hug her... "Thanks ma... For everything..." I mumble and she smiles... "Of course..." She says... She goes to say goodbye to Oliver and then i walk her out... 

I walk back inside and check on Oliver who has this massive piece of paper stalled out on the dining room table. He is working on a picture his tongue sticking out and i smile... I then go to the bedroom where Mya is lying in bed... I watch her, she seems to be asleep. 

I can't help it but my mind starts to wonder... Had it been a boy or girl... What would i like... Another boy... A girl... A little Mya... I come to the conclusion i would not have cared... As i watch Mya she turns and groans a little... She still has pain and i hate it... I walk over to her and sit on the side of the bed... Her hair is in her face and carefully wipe it out her face and kiss her forehead... I sigh... Even in her sleep her face looks sad... I walk to the kitchen and grab a bottle of water and the medications she was prescribed... I walk back to the bedroom and put it on her bedside table before joining Oliver in the kitchen. As much as i just wanted to crawl into bed with her i couldn't... Not until Oliver had gone to bed...