Hear Your God Speaking

| Chapter: 5 |

"... been dancing in the gallows just to lose myself I've come undone I need some help and I'm sick of throwing pennies in the wishing well cause everyone goes straight to hell ..."

I stare up at the ceiling fan spinning in the room and around me sounds of laughter, music, and a constant beeping sound similar to an alarm clock. Everything else hasn't come into view, my vision is blurry and I can feel the sweat between my thighs and running down my temples. I take one hand and hold it to my forehead as I rise up from being slumped over in a bean bag chair. Beside me I take my backpack and rummage through the junk in there to find my phone and when I do it's 7:35 PM and I have 13 miss phone calls and 15 text messages. It has been almost five hours and I am 4 hours behind the time I set that I would get back home. I look up to see Malory and her friends sitting around in a circle playing spin the bottle, while her boyfriend and his friends try to blow out the smoke detector that's gone off. I leave around the back and I don't bother telling her that I'm leaving. Deep down inside I'm actually pissed the f*ck off no one bothered waking me up, and half pissed at myself for getting so f*cking stoned. I start making calls, but I'm seeing double and the numbers are hard to make out that I end up running to the nearest bus stop home. I catch the same bus that I took to bring me here, and sit in the back. I get goosebumps from the cold A/C and the clothes on me get stuck to my skin and I start to pull on my clothes to allow a little air through. In my bag I pull out perfume to eliminate the odor from being in that house for so long and apply water drops to reduce the size of my pupils. I'm starving to death to point where I get the urge to clean out the nearest corner store on the next stop that I find. I'll make it home faster if I just eat the mints I have in my bag to avoid spending more time out than I need to. I make the sacrifice and suffer longer. Through the bus windows I see my reflection for once and I am disgusted with the ruffles in my hair, and begin smoothing them over with my fingers. The pores of my face have grown in size, making my face an oily mess; the only thing that can save me now is a brown paper bag I should put over my head.

It will take two buses for me to get home and when I've reached my last stop I can make with the first bus, and still a few miles away from home. I get off the bus and look both ways before crossing, I make it in front of a liquor store, and stand on the side lines to think of where I could go next. I see these men in leather coats and bagging sweat pants come out the store, and a woman with bright colored hair that doesn't compliment her skin and skimpy clothes waiting outside the store. She sees the two men coming out and says, "Hey fellas!" In a high pitch perky voice that is a bit over doing it. They turn around and the other comes up licking his lips, "Hey baby," "How's it doin ma?" The other says in what sounds like a jersey accent. This is a part of town I don't want to be in and it's best I start moving now, I thought. I notice a all black BMW pulling over to stop across the street from me. I get suspicious of the vehicle and take a shortcut around a building to a isolated alley. I hear the car horn go off, but I keep persistent on my journey and think of another way I could go without bumping into anyone. I hear the car taking off and for a moment I think they've gone away. I make it to the other side behind the buildings and the same car is there again, I back away when the driver's door open and I'm ready to bolt.

"Alex!" I turn right back around and I see it's just my father. I try to think of words to say like "Oh, hey I didn't know it was you." or "You did something new to the car?" but knowing with how high I was I was too damn out of it to have recognized his car. I hadn't quite figured out yet what I would say when I came home to my parents let alone if I'd bump into them in the streets. I've already had anxiety just thinking about it.

"Get in the car." He demanded. He got back inside without waiting for me to walk up and get in.

I have to admit my heart just sunk to my ass seeing him right now. I am so done for, when I get home. I can see my fingers shaking when grabbing onto the door handle on the passengers side and my breathing getting more heavier. I get in the car and put on the seat belt and he takes off back onto the main road.