Hear Your God Speaking

| Chapter: 9 |

After dinner Alex headed up to her room and maybe work on school work before calling it a night. When it came time to work she find herself sitting, looking straight at the words in her physics textbook, but not registering the information in front of her. Her mind in other words was in another world beyond what she thought was all there is to this life. She wanted to explore more about this life beyond us, and at this point her bible was what she wanted to study. As a high school scholar, she reached that title just by staying constant in her studies and absorbing what she thought she needed to make it pass high school. That was still very important to her, but the drive for educational excellence and the drive for eternal life and salvation was finding out about someone you are beginning to love and wanting to know more about them. It was a relationship and she is doing her part by loving someone who was waiting for you to love them back. God and her family were waiting for her, and ultimately God receives the glory when he freely have the choice to deny or accept his calling. As she opened the book and started to read with new eyes, it's only then she can see God trying to direct his now sinful creation to him. It's not a book full of myths or a book written by man like us, when all along God has been using his people to do his work, it's what we do that can give him glory and we are just a whole bunch of broken people that he's using as pieces to create his masterpiece. He uses us to procreate generations, and now he is using our talents, that even though we may sin Jesus died for that cause, so we no longer have any excuse to go out and do what he has called us to do. This is love. This love and his plan never fails, this love never gives out, it never runs out it's for all people, and it can be anyone's, for he is for everyone. The seed that is planted either ends up on concrete ground where it won't grow at all, thorn bushes that by the time it grows it is choked out and dies, or it can land on soil and grow and be reproduce. Alex is and will go out and be prosperous and plant seeds and where they sow is up to the people who will hear the truth, and that is gospel.

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That morning Alex took her car out the garage to school for the first time. Heath, along with the rest of the senior class had senior skip day, and he was taking this day off to prepare for prom night. Dad was taking him out for a haircut and to buy him a new suit, and after school Lauretta and mom will be going prom dress shopping. I was invited to go with my best friend Chanel and her boyfriend Kelvin and they promised not to make me a third wheel if I decided to hangout with them, but it's their night too. I appreciated their request, but I'd rather spend my lonely night with some Netflix's eating junk food that I know too well isn't good for me. Lauretta and I plan on taking turns driving my car since she is still learning.

Playing in the car on our way to school was some Christian rock bands that were more than just appealing to the ear. It was decent music I hadn't considered listening to it oppose to my usual secular music, it was pleasantly appropriate when I want to wash my hands clean of my old ways and break this division I have between the flesh and the spirit. I think for me it was knowing that the music I listen to as harmless as any music can be, I can identify with how conflicting it can be from going to carrying less about me and transitioning to trying to be right with God and following his example.

When the opportunity came to share my testimony with Chanel, eventually I knew by the missing gleam in her eyes and the curly of her lips that she tried to pass off as a smile, I knew there wasn't a connection. I knew I'd come across someone like this but I expected it to come from someone like Malory, knowing Chanel and I were close and her rejection felt very personal to me. I hadn't known I had become this close with God that in my heart, if she happened to choose the path and had unbelief we were unevenly yoked and there was this new divide between me and her. The reason she thinks I've gotten into this "religion thing" from what I explained to her, she saw it as Group Therapy. People coming together to openly share their problems and were told that God was the answer. I started to think that the reason she said this was to say it's only a solution with people with issues in their life. I had changed and as much as I wanted her to accept the truth it does not change the love that I will always have for her and hopes that she will bloom later down the road. Her reasoning to what I had told her was part of the truth why youth was so vital to me, but it was at my lowest point that I realized God whispering in our prosperity and screams in our darkness. Some peoples testimonies are what God brought them from and others what God has kept them from.

I walked out of the cafeteria with Chanel and told her I'd catch up with her more when we get to class as I needed to head over to my locker to drop off somethings. At my locker I arranged the things I was leaving behind and taking for tonight's homework, then came Augustus popping up behind me. I glare at him from the corner of my eye, and went back to arranging my locker.

"Hey, it was good to see you yesterday ... I feel like I know you better ... I hope the feelings mutual." He began.

"Sure." I shrugged.

I closed my locker and on way to leave, he says something last minute. "Wait!"

"Of f*cking course!" I say to myself.

I observed him from the corner of my eyes as he turned around to slip something out of his bag into his hand. He shifted his bag back over his shoulders and kept one hand behind his back to hide whatever he took out. He turned his attention back to me and I looked away. Things started to get awkward between us as I knew he was anticipating something. We're just friends and he treats me like .... like we're more than friends it's uncomfortable and really unnecessary and complicated. He shifts from side to side and takes his free hand to pull the collar of his shirt. He clears his throat and scratches the top of his head, his nervousness makes me want to bolt and leave to avoid this all together.

"So ... Uhh ... It's funny cause I asked my mom for advice about this." He begins, and I don't bother to look his way as he is talking.

"So here it goes ... I guess ... Do you want to go to prom with me?" He showed his other hand he was hiding behind him and pulls out a Prom Corsage. It had crystal gems for the bracelet part of Corsage and light pink flowers with gems placed in the flower's stigma. It was all held together in a white ribbon with a few white feathers. It was very beautiful and it truly melted my heart away.

"My mom and I made, I could have just bought something like it at a store, but this one has some of my own touches to it, I wanted it to be original ... You know?"

I stood there admiring it and he took my hand and placed it on my arm.

"Do you like it?"

"It's beautiful."

"So you want to go to prom with me?"

"Why?" I ask

"Uh, why not? Do you not want go?" He answered with another question. He scratched the back of his head and stuck his hands in his pocket.

"That's not what I said. Why do you want to go to prom with me?" I asked again looking him dead in his eyes, so he could be straight up with me. He sighs sheepishly and says, " ... I want to pursue you."

"Pursue me in what?"

"A relationship, I'm very attracted to you, and I don't think I could keep denying it."

I could feel my face flushing, sh*t this is so freaking embarrassing. I look away for a moment to fix my face, then back to him. I take of the corsage and hand it to him, "why?" he ask. It came off a little mocking, because he sounded exactly the way I did when I asked him that.

"Augustus ... This isn't some cliché love story where you come swoop me of my feet and be my hero. I don't need any saving, I need internal healing and getting into a relationship with me isn't healthy. We got to go our separate ways."