Hear Your God Speaking

| Chapter: 6 |

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Alex wept tears of sorrow, deep eternal hunger, relief from going on living life thinking that this is all there ever is. She sat there picking her own mind reminiscing, turning, flipping, evaluating the debates her and her mother would have about Christianity and Evolution. She never understood what it was about the supernatural that her mother believes to be so true. Alex see's it as some big fantasy, prayers are not guaranteed, miracles happens by just luck, and living your life trusting and hoping for Jesus's return, no one knows if it'll come. Evolution isn't a perfect answer but we are able to do more with the knowledge we get from it, evolution has made significant contributions to humanity, including preventing and treating human disease, new agricultural products, industrial innovations, computer science and rapid advances in life sciences. Her mother never degraded evolution and what it has provided for human understanding, but Alex remembers her mother telling her that's all it was.

Past conversation ...

"It is man understanding and man making things possible through humanity, but things that are possible with God are not possible with man. After our universe there are things that are beyond us that man have not traveled beyond that man cannot explain. In ways to know God you would have to read the bible, and spend time getting to know him just like you would with any person you are meeting for the first time. It's through him you will find understanding and he will open your eyes to things you are searching for, you take one step towards him and he will take ten towards you." "Why doesn't God just come down and prove himself to the world?" "We can't see God because we are not worthy to be in his presence that we can die if we see him in our human flesh. God come down to earth as a human when he sent his human son Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. He rose from the grave and show'd himself to hundreds of people the scars from the crucifixion, so they knew it was him. He can't just come down and prove himself, because his second coming marks as Judgment day. The day that God will judge every man and women for the sins that they've committed." "If God is all knowing, what has he left to prove to me that he is real? Why do I have doubts? if he wants to, he could make everyone believe." "He gave us free will to willingly come to him. It all started when Eve and Adam ate from the fruit of knowledge, sin entered the world and God is trying to direct us to him. He is all knowing, perfect, just, and all loving. You learned these stories when you were younger. I want you to go back to that place where you had faith like a child obedient and pure. I want you to rely on God and to not stand on your own, don't rely on your own intellect, understanding, and success. How can we expect to discern God's voice amongst all the other voices that we hear every day? If we refuse to listen to God's voice and His Word, how can we expect Him to answer our questions? You have nothing to lose when choosing God."

Her parents were prone to knowing and answering these questions, because just like every disciple that goes out to spread the gospel with all nations they were use to people questioning their sources even much so that their intentions weren't to prove Science wrong, but to 'plant a seed' as they would say it. They left people to think about what they have told them so they could decide, because their job was not to make people understand, but let God have a hand on what's to come. If it is through anything it's through faith and God alone that his mortality says that evil is murdering, adultery, stealing, lying, and all things that he deems to be bad, and if we humans are sinful and corrupted to do these things, then we are the evil ones. If all it takes is to confess with my mouth to choose to take him as my Savior, and it is in me or in my life I will see evidence, not hallucinations, not just coincidences, not being in denial about this being all there ever is to life, then it can't humiliate me if I happen to be one of the many "living testimonies" sharing their walks of faith.

My parents graciously gave me another chance to turn things around for myself and I took whatever was required of me to do to earn their trust that I've betrayed. I was told that I can no longer skip out on Sunday church services, and that it would be best for me to see my therapist more often than the usual times I see her. This family meeting was finally adjourned and it honestly feels like I was let off the hook in some way other than the fact that I will be still grounded. I made it upstairs where I saw Heath coming out of the closet hallway for an empty box. When he looked my way I turned away, because I still had tear stains on my face from the mascara I put on this morning.

"Alex?" She heard him call before she shut the door to her room and she stood just between the hall and her room to pop her head out.

"I know you've already gotten an ear full today from mom and dad, but before you pull another Jekyll and Hyde on Lauretta and I, know that what you do affects us to. Our parents look back at us if anything happens to you, and only you can be responsible for your waywardness." He walked into his room slamming the door behind him, and nothing more can make her feel like sh*t when he refers THAT phase in comparison to her.

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"Jekyll and Hyde" - coming to mean a person who is vastly different in moral character from one situation to the next.