Testing For Hope

Chapter 12 - Empty Bed Sheets

These halls are always so cold and empty. The only people I've seen since my husband left are the maids and the occasional soldier. What am I doing with my life? I think, while I shook off my overcoat and gently sat on my bed. The bed is also cold, but that is more my fault than anyone else's.

Soon after I sat down, the door to my room gently swung open to reveal a knight I had sent on a mission. They came to tell me that it didn't work out. That they couldn't find her. Afterwards is what hit me the most though.

"You have really run yourself dry on this matter, haven't you?" The knight said in almost a hushed tone, probably hoping I would notice.

"Did the others ask you to tell me that, huh? I understand their worries, but please assure them that I am fine." I rushed back in a quickly paced tone. The guards just never will understand how much this means to me.

"It's not them asking. We've been looking for years and there is still no trace of this magic you spoke of a kid so often. You said that it was almost a rainbow of colours. Almost ethereal, correct? Well, all we see out through day after day and night after night is  the ghouls and monsters of the woods. There was even another group that was trying to take over a nearby area." The knight then sighed in exhaustion. "I know you miss her, but we can't keep doing this. The area we hung out at has overgrown and she hasn't been heard of in years."

The knight took off their helmet and untied their hair from the ponytail it was in. Brushing her hand through her hair, she sat down next to me on the bed and just waited in the silence. I just fell on her shoulder and let her run her fingers through my hair. No matter how dirty her hands are, they are always the most comfortable on my head.

"Sorry." I closed my eyes. "Time has been going by too fast and we still haven't apologised. I just want to talk to her again and make her understand that I didn't mean to do anything." Tears started crawling down my cheeks at this point. "I didn't mean anything that happened."

"I know, but we must remain strong. I'm sorry for what I said. I will gather the troops tomorrow to go into the woods. Perhaps we will make it farther this time. Did she ever tell you where she lived? You were closer to her. Maybe she hasn't left her home."

The tears started to calm down around then enough for me to say, "No. The only reason that anything happened was because my family caught wind that her mom was in the village centre. I miss her so much."

After the talk, we just ended up sitting there until she had to go again. When she left, she remembered to say goodbye, so that's something. These days are just too lonely.

No one is around to talk to me. No one is around to listen. She's always off looking for her. He's on a business trip. There is no one in these palace walls but me, myself, and I.

The days are getting longer and then they shorten again.

I walked up from my bed over to the window sill seat and sat down once again. Resting my head on the wall behind me, I turned to look out over my kingdom from my high shelf. This place would be my home and it should be, but I can never feel attached enough to it to call it that.

My heart left my soul and body long ago. Those woods, somewhere I can't remember, are buried next to my old friend. I wonder how she's doing. Is she looking up at this sky every night like I am? Is she thinking of our old fun times? Did she ever get my letters? How is she doing all alone in this world? Is she still intelligent and funny? Still serious? If I were to see her again, how would we react to each other?

I'm so sorry Teria. Really sorry.