Tequila & Birdcages

Let me do it |d.s|

Diane and I have been friends for a while now. We didn't get off to the best start but she's grown on me. She always seems to be there when I need her, even before I know what I need for myself. So when I woke up this morning with a feeling that the day wouldn't be great; I texted her asking if we could hang out tonight.

Nothing had happened yet so I felt fine, there was no reason to worry. I just felt in the pit of my stomach that something would go wrong. As always, I was right. By the time I arrive to her house, I feel like I have no energy left. Even knocking on the door feels hard but I have to do it. She opens it with a smile that immediately turns into a pout as she assesses my features.

Just a glance and it's like she knows what's going through my head. She gently ushers me inside, closing the door and pulling me into her arms. I don't wrap my own around her, not having the strength. I press my face to her chest and feel her kiss the top of my head as she rubs my back.

I allow my eyes to close in the safety of her embrace. Finally feeling like I can relax for the first time today. She pulls away and kisses my forehead before taking my hand. I don't like talking at times like these, knowing how temperamental I can be. Yet I trust Diane, she knows just how to talk to me no matter what.

I can be the angriest I've ever felt and just a simple look or touch from her can calm me. She doesn't even need words to make me feel at peace. We enter her room and she guides me to the bed. I sit down and she strokes my hair with a gentle smile before disappearing into the bathroom. I wait for her, staring between my hands and the floor.

A bit of time has passed before I feel her hand lifting my chin. "Come on, sweetheart" she utters in a voice barely above a whisper. I stand up and she holds my hand while leading me into the en-suite. The lights are dimmed and the smell of honey fills my nostrils. In all honesty, Diane and I are more than friends.

The things she does for me and the things I would do for her... to call it mere friendship feels derogatory. What we have is special and I really cherish it. I love her and I know she loves me but calling us friends is just simpler. I suppose it always appears to others that we're in a relationship. We cuddle and hold hands; we basically do everything together.

It's just not sexual—maybe romantic... though I think it may just be that we don't care so much what people think. It may seem like we're just friends that lack boundaries but we have them; there's just very few, because we trust each other that way. We stop in front of the bathtub that's filled with water and a light layer of bubbles on top.

I go to take off my shirt but she takes my hands firmly in hers and returns them to my sides. "Let me do it" she whispers and I look into her eyes while slowly nodding. She carefully removes my shirt, my pants following shortly after. Going around behind me, I feel her fingers ghost my back before the tension from the tight fabric is released.

I allow the garment to fall as I feel her hands slowly slide down my waist. I take a deep breath as her fingers hook in the waistband of the only covering I have left. She drags them down my legs and places her hands on my shoulders. I take this as a silent order to slip into the bath and I quickly do so.

I close my eyes, the water being just hot enough to light my skin. I lean my head back and sigh as I sink deeper and feel my muscles relax. I open my eyes and my head falls to the side seeing her kneeled beside me. Her arms crossed, lain on the edge of the bath, her head cradled on them and tilted sideways.

She smiles softly at me and tears come to my eyes. She calmly reaches out her hand, silently wiping them as they fall. "I love you" I mutter under my breath, "I love you too" she whispers and I smile wearily. "I'm sorry you have to go through this. I wish there was more I could do" she voices quietly, "this... is more than enough" I mumble shakily.