||Lungs of roses|| Hanihaki Au | Shin Soukoku | Bungou Stray Dogs

Yosano's office (14)

So many thoughts rushed through Atsushi's mind.

The most prominent ones being:
'Why me?! He hates me!'
'He isn't.... He couldn't be joking'
'I feel sick!'

Atsushi's hand was entangled in his own hair. He finally turned to the older ginger.

"Is it true?!" Atsushi grabbed Chuuya by the collar. "Am I actually the reason for Akutagawa's pain?!" Atsushi could feel tears in his eyes and could see his vision blurring.

Chuuya stared at Atsushi's teary eye for a few seconds. He had just been pulled out of his own thoughts and was still trying to process what was going on.

Chuuya finally had a few seconds to process and slowly parted his lips to answer. The first try was silent so he tried again. He couldn't bring himself to answer. The 'kid' looked so broken in front of him.

"I need to know if I'm the reason! Please, Chuuya!" Chuuya just nodded. He couldn't speak.

Atsushi finally let go of Chuuya.

The man-tiger pulled at his hair almost immediately after. He slowly backed up into the wall. Both hands, which were previously tugging at stand of hair, were now covering his mouth.

"Shit... I'm the... reason he's suffering" He muttered to himself.

Chuuya tried to comfort him. When he reached to pat him on the back, his hand was slapped away. Atsushi slapped Chuuya's hand away. When he realized what he did, he began to apologize.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to-"

"I don't know you that well..." Chuuya was now hugging Atsushi. "...but you're a good kid and don't mean to hurt people unless it's in self defense"

Atsushi was holding back tears. He wanted to breakdown, crying in Chuuya's arms. Who knew a mafioso's embrace could be so comforting and gentle.

Chuuya finally let go of Atsushi.

"It's not your fault. Go home and rest. This situation has been stressful, but there's nothing more that we can do for Akutagawa right now..." Chuuya tried his best to not let his own emotions through and prioritize Atsushi's emotional state right now.

Atsushi was always so surprised when he witnessed kindness from mafia members. He and others forget that they're still humans with human emotions...

Atsushi nodded. "Okay... I'll leave. You should rest too" He wiped tears from his eyes with a soft smile on his face. To Chuuya, this confirmed that his attempt to comfort the man-tiger worked.

He smiled back.

"Yeah... I probably should."

Quickly, Atsushi turned on his heel and left. He tried not to let anyone see the tears that still continued forming in his eyes.

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •

The sidewalk felt like it kept getting farther and farther from Atsushi's destination. Did he even have a destination? He for sure did not want to got back to the agency or home.

Atsushi swore that the sidewalk was getting narrower too.

Everything felt as if it was spinning.

Atsushi's footing was a mess, stumbling almost every step he took. The people passing him just looked at him like he was a random drunkard wandering the streets.

"Atsushi!"

He was so disoriented, he couldn't even make out whose voice was calling him.

"Atsushi!" The voice called again. Everything started to fade out. Atsushi could feel himself falling.