||Lungs of roses|| Hanihaki Au | Shin Soukoku | Bungou Stray Dogs

Cry (19)

Atsushi found himself not actually falling asleep that night. He just stared at the shelf above him. He would trace the little cracks and crevices with his nail. He couldn't see much in the dark of the closet.

Atsushi could hear Akutagawa's tiny inhales and exhales as he slept.

He found himself thinking about Akutagawa's words and feelings. Why him? There was nothing special about him.

Atsushi slowly and quietly opened the closet door, peeking into the room where Akutagawa slept almost peacefully. Atsushi watched the slow rise and fall of his chest in the sinfully beautiful moonlight. Soon, that would stop...

Maybe getting out would calm him down a bit.

Atsushi opened the closet door some more so he could climb out of his sleeping space. When he was out he realized that Akutagawa hadn't even bothered to put his book away. The book laid spine up on the floor next to Akutagawa's futon. Atsushi picked up the book, placing Akutagawa's bookmark in between the pages. He closed the book and placed it in its original spot.

Atsushi quietly tiptoed down the hall to the washroom. He entered, then locked the door behind himself.

When he looked in the mirror. He didn't look so good. He had bags under his eyes, he was paler than he usually was, his hair was a mess from laying down. He hated how he looked at the moment. He fixed his hair, making himself look just a bit less tired. He sighed.

There was nothing much to do at the moment. He just sat on the floor, against the wall. He didn't know what he was doing anymore. He just thought back to those words.

"I wish you were female"

Was it really his fault?

No

Did he blame himself for Akutagawa's pain?

Yes

There was no real reason for Atsushi to feel that way other than his past. Every little thing was his fault.

That time he bumped into Kunikida while he was holding a bunch of papers and they flew everywhere.

That was his fault.

When he dropped and temporarily broke Kyouka's phone.

Yup, that was him.

Or that time that he was the reason that his enemy was dying.

Definitely him.

He caused trouble to everyone. Maybe if he was gone then none of that would've happened, maybe people would be less stressed...

Why am I alive..? Atsushi asked himself.

It's this stupid ability

He watched as his right hand turned into a tiger paw.

Why me..?!

He admired the sharp claws that he had sliced people to death with. They were so sharp...

I'm the problem!

He pricked his arm with the sharp tip of his claw. He watched the Crimson blood trickle down his arm.

I should just die!

One cut. Two cuts. Three cuts. His arm hurt so bad but he wouldn't stop. Blood covered his clothes. He sobbed as he continued.

"Man-Tiger!"

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