Merry Go Round

3 ~ Unbreakable

Unbreakable

*Madelynn*

I woke up to cool air and a warm, comforting hand in mine. The sound of trickling water was the only thing I could hear, what with it being winter. My mind was foggy with sleep, car rides always had that effect on me.

"We're here," I looked over and saw Zach smile at me, and I looked down at my hand in his, a common occurrence nowadays that I had no complaints about.

I looked around the see exactly where we were, and while I could hear water, I couldn't see it. We were parked beside the entrance to what appeared to be a forest trail, and when we exited the car we were instantly holding hands again as we ventured down the trail.

There was definitely something between us, and what it was, I've no clue. For all I know he could think we were the best of friends and nothing more.

I wanted more.

"Where, exactly, is here?" I asked quietly, because it seemed as if speaking too loud would disturb the peace we had between us. The surroundings were made up of bare limbs and our fragile hearts. We were small, and very much breakable as we are, but maybe, just maybe, we can change that. Maybe we can be stronger together, maybe we actually can heal each other. I don't know how long it'll take, but to be with him? It's worth a shot.

"I used to come here when I was younger," he mumbled, his voice just as quiet. His eyes were slightly distant, glazed over even, and while he smiled it looked slightly empty. "Whenever I was sad, I would come here to cheer myself up. Like I told you before, my mother used to bring me here on her good days. She was very ill. Now...well, now I come here alone when I can't seem to drag myself out of the hole I've fallen into. It reminds me of her. I haven't been here in a while though," he gave me a real smile, and his eyes were slightly mischievous, as if it was because of me that he had not been here in a while. As if I kept the sadness away.

"It's good, though, right? That you aren't coming to the place where you go when you feel sad?"

He looked at me with this intense look in his eyes, pausing in our walk down the trail. I didn't really know why he was staring at me so intently, but it felt as if he was looking into my very soul. As if by looking away, I'd be denying him access into my being.

"I'm starting to think so," he broke eye contact, and my heart jumped, skipping a beat as I walked beside him once again. My breathing was off, and I was nervous. I remember only feeling this once before, and it didn't end pleasantly. I remember it from when I fell in love.

During my high school years, I had become very good at masking my emotions, pretending the mask was the real me to the point where I didn't even know who I was. I couldn't handle the drama and pain, which have been two constant parts of my life that, for as long as I can remember, have haunted my dreams. I've always smiled fake smiles, laughed fake laughs, and before Zach, I didn't quite remember what a real smile looked like on my face, or what my real laugh sounded like. The line between my real emotions and fake ones were blurred to the point that I couldn't decipher them even if I tried. Then I met Zach, and nothing seemed as bad anymore. Suddenly, I would write and enjoy it, I could smile and mean it, I could laugh and enjoy it, and I could live. I realized that I don't have to be perfect to be happy, I can be broken, and I can't be perfect. No one is perfect, and just because you're broken, it doesn't mean you can't be fixed. Zach is like my mechanic, he's getting me pretty darn close to being fixed.

He promised to fix my metaphorical merry go 'round, and he is. I couldn't ask for more.

"Thank you," I squeezed his hand lightly as I rested my head on his shoulder. I knew a simple 'thank you' wasn't enough, but it was all I could say. My thanks couldn't be put into words that would justify how grateful I was.