try again | hwang hyunjin

two

a week has passed and the preparations for our comeback are going strong. You know its always the same. Sleeping 5 hours a day, strict diets, filming challenges, photoshoots, stress and so much more bad things i wont even mention.

We got to the dorm late at night due to us having to work late. I saw a black package on the counter and it was adressed to me. I gasped and my eyes sparkled in joy. I quickly opened the box from italy and inside was a black box with the Versace logo and a ribbon.

I carefully opened the box and inside was a beautiful black dress and a bag. Underneath a white letter laid and i opened the envelope.

dear hyejin,

we are very excited to welcome you at the spring show in cannes in a couple weeks. We hope to see you soon in this dress and bag!

With love, your versace team ❦

I quickly took a picture to post on my instagram story and took the things up to my room. I hung the dress up to prevent folds and kept the bag on my nighstand.

Mina came into the room and stared at the dress. "Woah where did you get that from." Her eyes widened and i grinned. "I told you i was invited to the versace event in cannes! They sent me this and a bag to wear." She got even more impressed and clapped her hands in excitement.

"My baby is going to a fashion show!" She always refers to me as baby since we debuted due to me being the maknae.

I yawned cause the whole day had been tiring and exhausting and honestly i couldn't stay up any longer. "Goodnight minari im going to bed." I yawned in the middle of the sentence which made her chuckle. "Goodnight baby."

My alarm jolted me awake at exactly 5 am. "Son of a bitch let me sleep."I groaned and hit the button so it wouldn't make me rage at it.

I quickly got out of my bed and walked to the bathroom in the darkness. I switched the light on and splashed water on my puffy face. I quickly did my skincare and brushed my teeth. The comeback is tomorrow so i can't skip any of this.

I felt a stinging pain in my stomach and suddenly there it was again. That ugly feeling i get everytime i stress to much. The feelings being bottled up until i explode. At the most worst times. The worst one was at a concert and i couldn't take it anymore.

I burst out into tears and held myself by the sink and silently sobbed. I stared down at the scars on my wrist. They're like a year old but i still carry them with me.

I felt how my lungs slowly got tighter and my breathing faster and louder. I'm panting for air at this point and i can't even see clearly. I stumbled out of the bathroom and into the dark hallway. I tried to get a help out of me but i somehow couldn't. "Help, mina!" I finally managed to scream and in a matter of seconds i saw how all the doors opened and the girls ran up to me.

"Nonono jinnie not again, breathe slowly please." Tzuyu held me in her slim arms and tried to give me instructions. Chaeyoung ran to get a glass of water for me and mina also held me in her arms. "Hyejin here, try to drink slowly and breathe. Breathe as slow as you can and hold my hand." Chae came back with the water and attempted to calm me down.

I drank small sips of the water and squeezed her hand. My breathing got more even and my muscles slowly relaxed and i finally saw the girls clearly next to me. "Im so sorry, i can't help it." Tears escaped my eyes again. "Jinnie don't ever be sorry for your feelings. You are allowed to feel this way dont bring yourself down like this. Always call us for help in these situations, please." Tzuyu caressed my cheek and i nodded.

We all got ready and an hour later after the relapse in the bathroom we drove to the entertainment. Chaeyoung still held my hand to show me that im not alone. We got into the dance studio being full with other idol's. I recognized some people of stray kids, itzy and nmixx.

Jihyo and nayeon immediately saw my state and came running at me. "Don't tell me it happened again." Nayeon hugged me tightly and nearly cried too. I was holding back tears and nodded.

"Please always talk to me about your feelings and never bottle them up. This is not the first time." I nodded slowly again and let go.

Sullyoon of nmixx and me got to film a dance challenge together and i got to smile again. I noticed Felix and Seungmin of Stray kids and Felix had a worried smile for me. "Hey are you okay? You don't look very good to be honest." He came up to me.

"Its nothing, just the same things over and over again." I nodded and gave him a soft smile. "Take care of yourself jinnie. We don't wanna loose you."
I hugged him and we filmed our dance challenge together.
-----

Hi guys 🫶🏼
i managed to update today
Ill be releasing a new endless eyes chapter soon i promiseee!🤞🏻