try again | hwang hyunjin

three

"The song starts in three, two, one!" Our manager yelled from backstage and as soon as the intro of our new song played we started dancing the choreo that we learned these past weeks.

I faintly heard the audience cheer behind the music. We got to the end of the song and i had to sing a highnote.

The Song ended and i was at the verge of fainting right on the spot but the camera's switched to my ending fairy and i got my last energy together and posed for the camera.

As soon as the lights went off i could barely hold myself on my knees. Before i tripped Mina caught me and assisted me walking backstage. "Sit down, I'll get you a glass of water. Every will be fine." I sat down on a free makeup chair and next to me Yuqi of Gidle sat on the Make-up Chair.

Mina came back with a glass of water. She handed me the full glass and i slowly chugged everything down. My lungs tightened again and i felt everything coming up again.

Everyone in the room had worried look's for me and i just couldn't help but quietly sob. "Jin come on, we're leaving and you can rest at home. Everything will be fine." Jeongyeon whispered into my ear and slowly caressed my back.

hyunjin pov

All of the members sat in the waiting room at music core. A voice spoke through the microphone and told us to come to the stage. The make up artist quickly touched up my make up and we made our way to the hallway. Nine girls came walking at us from the other side of the white hallway.

Chan chatted with jihyo and i noticed a pale and exhausted girl with red eyes and damp cheeks. She must've noticed my glance and quickly hid behind momo. Worry built up in my body eventhough im not even close with them. I wish i could help her with whatever issue she has.

"We have to go now, hyejin is not feeling well at all. She nearly fainted on stage." Jihyo spoke and Chan also took a worried glance at her. "Oh no! Well then rest well bye guys!" We hurriedly ran to the stage and i turned around one last time just to see Hyejin wrapped up in momo's arms sobbing her heart out.

hyejin pov

we all got into our car's and i kept on trying to calm down. They saw me, they saw my sorrow and my pain, i can't hide it anymore, they're gonna bombard me with questions, he had a worried look god im so screwed.

I suddenly recieved a text message from a number i don't have saved.

hi this is chan from stray kids earlier, we all hope you're feeling better and just so you know me and the members are always here if you need someone to talk to. Please stay safe and eat well! 🤍
with love from stray kids
read 15:53 pm

hii thanks alot for these words im not really feeling the best but i will definitely reach out 🤍
read 15:55 pm

I dont know why they care but im glad they do. And that one member's look earlier i can't remember his name. He had long black hair and his make up was done perfectly. I did hide behind momo out of shame. I mean my cheeks were damp and i probably looked like a dead person.

The driver stopped infront of the dorm building and i gathered my strength to get out and slowly walk to the elevator. I have an appointment with my manager tommorow to go through my schedules.

I somehow managed to get into my pajamas and throw myself on the bed. Im so exhausted and I don't know what i can do to help myself. Sometimes i just think about killing myself but i can't do that. I don't have the nuts to.

I tried to close my eyes and get some rest. For four hours atleast.

I got woken up by chaeyoung softly shaking my body. "Hey Hyejin you need to get up. Your meeting is in an hour." I nodded and forced myself out of bed.

After thirty minutes i sat in the car and my drives driving me to the jype building. I took the elevator up to the 10th building to my managers office and entered his room.

"Hello Hyejin! Sit down so we can start right away." I greeted my manager back and sat down on the chair infront of the desk.

"So you just had a comeback and there's alot of new events coming up. So first you have a couple music shows to attend. Then in exactly one week you'll be attending the versace show in france, cannes to be more specific. After that you'll be starting as a mc in music bank."

My eyes widened at the word MC and Music bank. "Is the company being serious? I can't MC in the condition im in right now! I can barley hold myself on my knees this is hilarious! And now they except me to MC for a fucking Music show!" I was on the verge of breaking down and loosing it for once and for all but I managed to calm myself down.

"Im so sorry Hyejin but that's what the company decided. I know that you're not feeling well at all but you need to endure this. JYPE hasn't decided on a male MC partner yet but it's someone from JYP aswell." I sighed and slowly nodded blinking the tears forming in my eyes away.

"That's it for now more info on the Versace event will come soon. Thank you for your time Hyejin and good luck."

I said my goodbyes to him and left the office. I passed some practice rooms and found stray kids in one. They all noticed me and turned their heads towards my direction. I waved shyly and so did they.

I felt the same gaze as yesterday at music core and turned my head to his direction. Hyunjin had a sad gaze on me and i could only give him a little smile.

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finally an update here cause i have some ideas for this story 😭