A Therian Struggle

the start of the journey

To start this story off I will be writing about how I figured out that I was a therian and some.of the first struggles I went through.

This is mainly an introduction and vent, feel free to skip this chapter

My name is Toby, I'm a 14 year old therian. My journey all starts in london ontario when I first found out about therianthropy in 2017. I had been scrolling through YouTube looking at different animal videos and memes as a bored 8 year old would have done when I came across a video titled "what is therianthropy?" The cover photo was a person with a fox mask and it intrigued me. I clicked on it and everything matched with my life, the feelings, the shifts, the phantom limbs. All of a sudden it all made sense. I forgot about it soon after since my memory hadn't been that good.

This next part begins when I was 9 or 10

I had been scrolling through tiktok for something to do and came across opal.n.friends. I was immediately intrigued by their masks and quadrobics. It was amazing. Once I saw then and started looking into therianthropy that's when I started to make masks and do quads. However being a therian comes with some struggles too. Soon after I started doing quads and being open about being a therian I started to get severe joint and body pains. At school I'd get made fun of 24/7 for being myself. So I started to hide it. I stopped wearing my masks in public and doing quads, I started to try and fit in which did nothing but hurt me. I started to get severe depression and started to cut myself. I remember that the first time I cut myself I was 9 and it was almost my 10th birthday.

This next part starts when I was 11
(Tw grooming, pedophilia, self harm)

When I was 11 I got discord in attempt to find friends that were like me. Misunderstood therians. However that is the opposite from what I had found.. instead I found an 18 year old boy to talk to. He soon ended up being me "boyfriend" I was desprate for love and validation and put myself in the worst position. I was stupid and gullible. I'd stay up late every night talking to him and I'd love it so much. I finally felt loved. However he didn't love me at all. He only loved my body. He'd force me to send him nudes and he'd compliment me for it.. I thought it was normal.. I thought it was love.. ot was the opposite of that. I hate myself for being so stupid. I disgust myself.

This next part of the story starts when I was 12.

I had started a therian and quadrobics account. I wad finally happy.. i was living my life and loving it.. until i started getting hate. Every day I'd be told to kill myself and quit. So I did. I quit my account and I attempted suicide 7 times that year. I got addicted to self harm too. I'd cut myself relentlessly every day just to feel something. I still did quads in my free time, I'd do quads until my body was bruised and sore. I can't even count the amount of times I broke or sprained something from doing quads.. it would hurt so bad. That year I was diagnosed with tourrettes and autism aswell as severe depression

That's it for my introduction/vent and the best chapter will be more about therianthropy than it will be about me. I will also work on another story from the perspective of me