south park x reader. gender neutral reader.
crackfic. lowercase intended.
a 17-year-old punk degenerate in their senior year makes friends with a bunch of dirty-mouthed boys. together, they form a band, cause mayhem, and ruin their love lives.
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CHAPTER ONE: 'cuz it's getting kind of quiet in my city ahead it takes a teen age riot to get me out of bed right now
🎸⋆⭒˚｡⋆ you have a heart to heart with your disturbing looking guidance counselor, and unfortunately meet the people you'll be stuck with all year.
"i don't know if you're aware, but you have a reputation," the guidance counselor you were unfortunate enough to be cursed with sternly said. he kept his nimble fingers tapping away on the keyboard while his wrinkles made him look like a vintage leather couch. "m'kay?"
"okay." there you sat, in the too-small plastic chair in front of his desk.
"see, your grades are... fine. uh, they could use some improvement."
you cough a bit into your fist.
"for example, your Spanish grade... that's no bueno."
"mr. mackey, why am i here?" you raised a brow.
mr. mackey, the man of the hour, looked taken aback but not surprised. "well... i've gotten reports from your fellow classmates that you- well, you're a mean kid."
"that's- that's why i'm in here?"
"that's right."
silence enters the room and its awkward presence makes you sweat. big beady eyes bore into you as you try to make up an escape plan. the too-small plastic chair leaves you with a revelation, there's no way out.
you laugh a little, more for yourself, "okay?"
mr. mackey sighs, it seems as though he's given up when he holds his head in his hands.
clearing your throat, "to be fair, maybe my reputation isn't a big deal. i'm not supposed to care what people think, right?"
you start to notice mr. mackey tugged at the last few hair follicles he has remaining.
"my grades! they need improving! i'll just focus on my grades from now on, yeah?" you're getting nervous.
mr. mackey starts muttering to himself.
"am i mean? am i that mean? i- i just don't see why some people are upset—"
as soon as those words flew out of your mouth, mr. mackey swiftly rummaged through a file cabinet in his desk. then, he pulled out a stack of papers, all color coordinated, to each grade.
