We fight each other, we love each other FreenBecky/BeckFreen

I feel like, i feel something for her

-Miss Armstrong, Becky, Mother Earth is calling, hallo,- teacher was standing right in front of me and i noticed her only after she started yelling at me.

-Yes, yes, i'm sorry miss, i'm sorry, that won't happen again.

-Better not.

Ohhhh, i haven't slept the whole night, my head was 100 kg , my eyes were sinking and i couldn't stop my brain from thinking about her and about the things she said. I was analysing myself all 8 hours of the night and with every second i was getting more confused and worried then before. My emotions, feelings, logic, knowledge, culture, my traditional upbringing, all the images that were instilled in my head by my parents and society were in a huge war inside of my head. I was actually going crazy between the choice: my heart or my brain. 

In the morning i couldn't recognise myself in the mirror, but still decided to get ready and come to school, because i thought it will help me to stop thinking, but here i am, sitting in the history class and thinking about her. 

-BecBec, are you ok?,- Annie asked me when we were having a break between classes.

-I don't know, Annie, i think, i might need to go home, because i can't.

-Bec what is wrong? You know we are here for you right? You can talk to us about anything.

-Can i? I don't even know.

-Why?- Amy was looking at me a bit angry.

-You won't understand,- i know them, they can't understand this,- anyway, i'm going home. I will see you tomorrow.

-Bec, you remember that tomorrow is our 1/4 game right?

-Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me, i almost forget it.

Tomorrow, if tomorrow is our game, that means she is playing today. Maybe i should go to see her, maybe that will help. 

I was riding my bike and thinking which street to choose, the one that will bring me home or the one to her. 

...

-Come sit here,- is she angry or worried?

I just walked and set next to her.

-What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at school still?

-Yes, yes i am, but i couldn't concentrate, i couldn't stop thinking, i needed some open space.

-Is it all because of her?

-Grandma?,- i was sitting next to her on the old bench near the abandoned resort, and she knew?

-How do you?...

-My little girl, come here,- she tapped on her lap and i put my head on her lap and lie down on the bench, - we used to do this all the time when you were little, remember?

-Yes grandma, i'm really missing those days, my careless days, without any problems and this heaviness in my head.

-And what about here,- she softly put her hand on my chest and it was like the key to my heart and my soul. 

-I don't know grandma, i'm so scared and so confused,- my tears started running, but it was different this time.

-My little angel, that is in here,- she softly tapped my forehead,- i'm asking about here,- she put her hand back on my chest.

-I ... i..., grandma,- i sat down and looked at her eyes,- please, please promise me that you won't hate me.

-Oh, my baby, please don't cry, i promise, i promise you, i will never ever, no matter what happend or what you do, i will never hate you, i will always love you with whole my heart, my sweet little BecBec,- she gently wiped away my tears.