ICARUS BLAZING ✦ jason todd

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝟏𝟓.

[ then ]

The seconds feel like years. For all the pride Jason took in being able to act under duress, he can't force his legs to move, can't force himself to run after Valentine. The silence in his room pushes down on him with the weight of an ocean, choking him out until his throat burns.

Not like this, he pleads to no one. His first night as Robin and already someone's found out. And not just someone.

Valentine.

"V, wait!" he calls out. But by the time he reaches the door, she is nowhere in sight.

Jason knows he can't just show up to her dorm room and knock. Britehaven is not that lenient, despite the liberties it offers its students. Swiftly, he eases himself onto his window ledge and takes out his grapple hook — courtesy of Batman — aiming it at the parapet gutter. He swings himself over to the front courtyard, gliding down behind the darkness of an oak tree. He moves through the shadows, circling the building until he comes in view of Valentine's window; it's dark, too. Wherever she's gone, it's not there, not yet at least.

Jason swears, just about ready to choke someone. It will have to wait until tomorrow. He just has to trust that she won't say anything to anyone yet, not until he gets the chance to talk to her. His hands shake as he silently makes his way back to his dorm.

He makes sure to tuck his Robin suit tightly under his mattress before going to bed.

* * *

He can't find her anywhere the following morning. And it's not for lack of trying either — Jason dutifully makes his rounds, asking everyone if they've seen Valentine, but the answer is the same. No, but don't you have her number?

Of course he does. But every time he calls, it goes straight to voicemail.

They don't have any of the same classes, so Jason is forced to bide his time. At lunch, he expects to find her sitting with her usual crowd of seniors — Clyde and the other assholes alike — but she isn't there. Jason swallows his pride and approaches them; the only person whose face doesn't sour is Luke's. He lights up, grinning.

"Hey trackstar," he greets, patting his arm. "Have a seat. Aren't you eating anything?"

Jason looks solemn. "I'm actually looking for Valentine."

"Oh — she didn't tell you?" Luke motions for Jason to lean in, lowering his voice. "Today's her check-in at the station."

Jason freezes. He completely forgot that she has those too, just like him. The amount of times he'd traveled down to the GCPD and talked to Gordon about his progress — and not once has he remembered that Valentine would be doing the same thing.

But it's not good. Was she over there right now, telling Jim Gordon all about last night?

Well, I just happen to know who the new Robin is — yeah, that's right, guess you shouldn't have let him out of jail.

Or maybe not that. The GCPD have a good relationship with Batman, so Jason hopes that even if Valentine outs him, Gordon wouldn't pursue it any further. Though it did put everything at risk; Bruce would take away his Robin privileges so fast it'd make his head spin. Jason would be a liability to him.

One night and he's already screwed himself.

"Do you know when she's coming back?"

"I don't know. Maybe by the end of lunch? Definitely by the end of the day."

Jason finds it impossible to be patient. He waits with everyone, occasionally replying when someone throws scraps of their conversations his way, but the minutes that tick by are torture. By the time classes resume for the afternoon, he is a mess; he's sweated through his shirt and his tie is choking him.

Finally, as he's walking to his History class, he catches a glimpse of a black sedan pulling into the parking lot. Jason nearly trips as he runs to meet Valentine.

Her eyes glaze over when she sees him; dark circles under her eyes contrast heavily with her unblemished skin. She shakes her head before he can say anything.

"No, I didn't tell anyone," she says. "So if that's what you're here to discuss, you can rest assured I've kept your secret."

Jason blinks. The weight on his shoulders eases a little.

"Um, thank you," he replies. "That's not—"

"What you wanted to talk about?" Valentine scoffs. "Yes, it is." She glances at her wristwatch — it's dainty and looks expensive, and Jason wonders where she got it from. "I'm late for my class."

She moves past him, hitching her bookbag over one shoulder.

Jason stands in his spot. He can feel his blood pulsing in his ears. As he looks up, his eyes catch the driver of the sedan Valentine came in and his blood turns cold.

Jim Gordon.

He turns around slowly and heads to class.

* * *

"Can I talk to you for a minute?"

Valentine lifts the left side of her headphones, spinning her desk chair around. Jason stands in her doorway — tail between his legs.

"I'm busy right now."

Jason shakes his head. "No, that was me being polite. I don't care — we need to talk."

He walks in and pushes the door closed. For good measure, he locks it.

"Hey, my roommate is taking a shower, she'll be back soon," Valentine warns.

"Great, I won't be long." Jason pulls the second chair in the room close to Valentine and sits. "We can't just gloss over the fact that you saw me."

"I see you right now."

"Don't play dumb," he hisses. "Stop it, Valentine, you're acting like a child."

"Don't come into my room and scold me," she shoots back. "You have no right!" There are tears in her eyes now and it tugs at Jason. "How long were you going to wait to tell me that you're fucking Robin? Don't you think that's a pretty crucial detail to leave out of our friendship?"

"Last night was my first night," Jason says.

Valentine's cheeks heat. She slams her hand down on her desk. "You out of all people! We were supposed to be as far away from that shit as possible!"

"What do you want from me?" Jason defends. He's angry now, too. "I finally have a chance to do something meaningful with my life and you're mad at me for that?"

"We were supposed to leave all that dirt and grime and suffering behind." Valentine's bottom lip quivers. "Do you understand that you could die?"

The thought gives Jason a moment's pause. Truthfully, he hasn't thought about that. Soaring through the Gotham skyline with Batman last night, it was impossible to feel anything but invincible, like nobody could ever touch him. How could they? He's going to get the best training there is and fight alongside a seasoned hero; why would he be afraid of anything?

"People die everyday," he shrugs. "All I know is that I finally feel important and needed. The city needs me."

Valentine's voice breaks. "I need you."

The look she gives him — quivering lip, furrowed brows, eyes full of tears — breaks his heart.

The doorknob jiggles. Someone starts knocking with a heavy hand.

Jason stands and opens the door. Valentine's roommate — a girl he's never seen before — huffs as she pushes past him. When her eyes land on Valentine's puffy eyes, she whips around so fast her wet hair splashes Jason on the chin.

"Can you leave?"

Swearing under his breath, Jason complies.