Chapter IX - The Stairwell

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I wake up without Gabe by my side. I check my phone and have a message from him: "had to make it home before my parents woke up. see you monday :)" It's a bit of a dry text, but, to be fair, I don't think Gabe is the type to send messages with heart emojis or anything.

I can still smell Gabe on my pillow: Cedarwood and sweat. I feel a sense of longing despite having been alone for only a short amount of time. It's weird; I've gone my entire life without someone caring about me in a romantic way, but it feels like a necessity now.

I imagine another world where Gabe and I could go around school holding hands like every other couple. Having a secret relationship is supposed to be exciting, but it just makes me sad. We can't do normal "couple" things. I feel like I've spent my whole life watching people my age on TV doing all of the stereotypical things: going on dates at restaurants, partying, slow-dancing at prom, and Gabe and I aren't able to do those things together.

I should probably just be thankful I'm even with someone - especially someone as amazing as Gabe - but it's hard not to think about what I'm missing out on.

...

I wait outside of the Marine Bio classroom for Gabe to come out. He walks out, and his face lights up. "Hey, Jake!"

"Hey, Gabe." I smile at him. He's so pretty. Gabe is wearing baggy cargo pants and an olive green T-shirt with a gray flannel over it. He walks over to me, scans the hall, and then squeezes my hand.

"I missed you." I squeeze his hand back. It's nice to feel his touch, but I can't help feeling frustrated that we can't even hold hands without caution.

"I missed you too." All I want to do is kiss him, to feel his lips on mine. Instead, I ask, "What did you do in Marine Bio?" Gabe looks at me, confused and excited.

"Oh, um, we're learning about marine ecosystems and food chains." He grins like he's talking about the most spectacular thing in the world. "Today, we talked about animals with different defense mechanisms, and we got to choose one to do a report on! What did you do in-" he hesitates.

"Prob & Stats." I finished for him. "Something with... graphs? I don't know. Honestly, I wasn't paying attention. There was at least one graph, though. What are you doing for your project?"

"I'm talking about marine species that ingest poison and use it to ward off predators. I picked it because one of my favorite animals, the blue glaucus, uses it." I listen to Gabe talk about sea slugs as we enter the gym. Before we go into the locker room, he stops. "Thank you for asking me about Marine Bio. All of my friends just see me as a 'stereotypical jock' and think that I'm dumb. It's nice to know someone cares about me. You down with eating lunch together?"

"Yeah!" I answer. We walk into the locker room, and there are only two people: Gabe's friend Marcus and another boy whom I haven't met. Marcus is bent down slightly, whispering something in the other boy's ear. He's a bit shorter than Marcus, maybe about my height, with light brown skin and a faux hawk haircut. They are both fully changed into their athletic clothes, so it's odd that they haven't left yet.

"Hey, dude," Gabe greets Marcus. He jumps up, looking startled.

"Oh, hey, Gabe. I was just leaving. Try and get dressed quickly. I think Coach is in a mood." Marcus and the other boy turn to leave. Once they seem far enough, I turn to Gabe as he's pulling a polyester T-shirt over his head.

"Did that seem weird to you?" I ask him. "Them being in here alone together?"

"Not really," he answers. "I mean, we do that too."

"Yeah, but you know why we do that." Gabe takes a second to think.

"I don't know; Mark is a weird guy." I shrug it off, deciding to leave the thought behind.

...

I push open the heavy door to the Faculty Hall stairwell, and Gabe is already there. "Hey, pretty boy," he greets me. I press my lips into a slight smile, embarrassed by how flattered I am.

"Don't make me blush," I tell him before kissing him on the cheek.

"Sorry, pretty boy."

"Oh, fuck you," I say, and Gabe turns my head to kiss me on the lips. I feel all light and warm as his soft lips press against mine. My tongue touches his slightly sticky lips. He tastes sweet and tart, like a sports drink. "I've wanted to kiss you all day," I whisper.

"God, same." Gabe drops his lips to the side of my neck, kissing me harder now. I let out a soft moan as elation fills my veins. He scoots closer to me, pressing my body against the railing of the stairs. "Are you good with this?"

"Great with it," I answer. His body, still slightly sweaty from PE, moves against mine. I move my hands around the nape of Gabe's neck and bring his face closer to mine.

Suddenly, we hear the loud bang! of someone opening the stairwell door. Gabe scoots away from me, and we both look at the door to see him.

Marcus.

He enters with his jaw quite literally dropped. "Gabe, you fucking faggot," Marcus jabs. He turns to me. My heart is racing. I reach for Gabe's hand, but he's on the other side of the steps now. "That's who this loser is. Your boyfriend." He says "boyfriend" like it's the most disgusting word in the English language.

"Don't talk about him like that," Gabe tells him, his voice firm.

"What are you going to do about it, fag? If you try anything, I'll tell your parents that you're gay. You think they'd like that?" Gabe's jaw tightens, and his face turns red. I don't think I've ever seen him angry.

"You want me to tell him, Marcus?" Marcus balls up his fists, and I watch the veins on his muscular arms rise. He looks at me, sizing me up. His fists start to quiver: he's scared. A tense silence follows - the boys stare each other down, and I sit there and dart my eyes between them. Finally, I ask,

"Tell me what?"

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