When You Could Only See Red

Fabryka Emalia Oskara Schindlera

" I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you." - Psalms 32:8 

It was November. The air was crisp, reminding Felix of his time in Germany. That made him feel sick to his stomach, especially because he was riding through the forsaken country now. Him and his father were heading to Poland to visit the famous Oskar Schindler. So far, Felix did not know what to think of Mr. Schindler. He was mysterious and knew that Margeit was a Jew. Was he going to tell his father that his son's lover was a Jew? Someone that the Nazis were targeting. He hoped not. But yet again, he must not have said anything about it because if he did, his father would have tried to pry it out of him by now. 

Nothing about meeting Mr. Schindler again felt like a good idea to Felix. He had to leave Amsterdam. Leave Margeit and her family again. He already was gone for three weeks at Westerbrok in late October. And it was clear that nothing about it was getting better. He had heard from the leaders of Westerbrok that the Nazis had different plans for the camp. The Dutch were running it as a refugee camp and wanted it to have the Dutch Hitler Youth running the camp so that they could be seen as supporters of the Third Reich. But the organizer believed that the camp was going to be taken over- which Felix did not like the sound of. 

He had seen some terrible things in other refugee camps. He saw men being killed, forced to do hard labor for hours at a time, with little food or water. They wanted to take completely over, get rid of the Jews. Felix had heard about it while he was in Germany. So now, being a "member of the army", he was told things he probably was not supposed to know. 

As a guard at the camp, he had to wear the usual black uniform with the red sash on his forearm, with a SS pin on the lapel of his jacket, and the red SS symbol on his cap. He had to keep the people in the camp at bay, trying to keep them calm and give them as much information that he could about the outside world. He was a part of the food transports, which was one of the most heart wrenching jobs in the camp. Though they may have been protected, the refugees were only able to have so much food at a time. He would watch hundreds of families run up the trucks, begging for food and medicine for their families. He watched as other trucks brought out the bodies of the sick and dead from the camp- not knowing where they were going. 

The only relief that Felix got from the camps was when he could go to his courters on the outside of the camp, where he had a small room to himself. It had a sturdy mattress, with a small wooden table and dusty window that faced the camp- which Felix hated. He was able to bring several special belongings; in which he brought several black and white pictures of Margeit and her family (his favorite was one with Sully on her second birthday), a small compartment of paper and pens, a candle and lighter gifted to him by his brother, and a Bible. He and Margeit were able to exchange letters while he was away, which also eased the pain. 

However, now, on a train to Krakow, Poland where he and his father would be for a week, he had no way of keeping contact with Margeit- unless he tried to contact her father's office in the University. But he knew that would be no good. Mr. Fischer stopped working early on, only going in to collect things from his old secretary, deal with phone calls, or if they needed an extra tutor for the day. So that was a dead end. 

Felix leaned against the window of the train compartment, sighing as he watched the meadows roll by, seeing the purple mountains that touched the icy clouds above them. The meadows were covered in bright snow, which reflected what little sun was flashing over the land outside. Margeit would love this. Felix thought to himself, smiling as he thought of her. Their last interaction was over three weeks ago, before he left for Westerbrok. She gave him her father's old Bible, telling him that it would be a good guide while he was away. They held each other for what felt like hours, before he had to get on the black abyss of the camp's food truck. The driver, Alastor, had to honk the horn in order to break them from their trance. They laughed, Felix calling him off before kissing Margeit's cheek and hopping into the truck, trying to keep a smile on his face.