When You Could Only See Red

The Barracks

"For the joy of the Lord is your strength." -Nehemiah 8:9-10 

The trains were dark and crowded inch by inch with woman and children. Margeit found a small spot in the back of the compartment, where a young woman was trying to comfort the cries of her infant and her two children. Sully was curled up against Margeit's chest, her eyes slightly open as she fiddled with her jacket. Her mother was sitting next to her, leaning against her shoulder as she slept. "Where's Papa? And Avi?" Sully asked sweetly, completely innocent to the terrible world around them. 

Margeit sighed, trying to readjust herself. "Avi's on the train, just somewhere else." she said, brushing a piece of hair out of Sully's eyes. "And Papa- Papa's in heaven." 

"With the angels?" 

"Yes, with the angels." Margeit replied, finding herself smiling. She was so grateful that Sully and her mother were with her, happy to not be alone. Sully always made Margeit smile, even on the hardest of days. Even where they were now. Soon, Sully fell asleep, making Margeit's mind wander on what was happening outside of the box they were being held in. 

The last thing her father did was stand up for what he believed. He knew he was going to die, whether by gun or by sickness. And he wasn't going to die in vain, alone and ashamed. She was proud of her father for what he had done, and happy to know that he was in a much better place than this. She knew he wouldn't have made it. 

She thought about all the memories she had of her father, the stories he told, the jokes he'd play on her mother and brother, the gifts he gave her. About the time the two of them danced into the middle of the living room, laughing like a couple of fools. And the respect her father had for all those around him. Margeit wanted to be like him. Strong. Kind. A person who never stopped to protect his family, even until his final breath. 

Margeit also thought about Felix, and where he was. The last time she saw him was a few days before back in Amsterdam, before she and her family were placed on the truck. When they got to the train station, she looked for him everywhere, hoping to find his face and find some sort of comfort that things were going to be okay. But she couldn't find that comfort anywhere. 

Her, Sully, and her mother were separated from Avi back at the train station, being shoved into a compartment with only women. And since then, Margeit hadn't been able to sleep. She woke up the first night- or what she thought was night- to two women fighting with each other over a spot on the floor, resulting in several other women having to pull them apart. And it was then that shut eye wasn't going to be an option. 

So instead of sleeping, she spent her time praying. Praying for Felix, for her mother and sister and brother, for all of her family and friends all over Amsterdam and beyond. She prayed for all the soldiers, hoping they would change in their ways and find remorse. She thought of the story of David, who was hiding from King Saul in a cave, begging for God to intervene. And it was in quiet moments where she began to feel like David, praying for Savior to rescue her. 

Suddenly, the train halted to an abrupt stop. People were shouting and pushing one another, trying to see what was going on in the outside world. Everyone was crying out for food and water, trying to escape as the doors slid open in front of them. Margeit shook her mother awake, helping her to her feet before picking up little Sully and their two suitcases. 

There were men in black uniforms screaming orders in German, which Margeit only picked up a few parts of. All she could understand was 'don't run' and 'pay attention'. She found it ridiculous that they were giving orders in a language that the people struggled to understand, but yet again, none of the soldiers had any respect for these people. So why talk to them in a language they could understand? "Come on, Mamma." Margeit muttered, pushing her towards the entrance and out into the world.