Terrified of Love

Chapter 12

[DMV]

I just finished taking my driver's test. I pull into the parking lot and put he car in park, "Very nice, you passed" The instructor says

[Home]

I walk downstairs to my parents, "Keys?" I ask

"Nope" Mom says

"How come? I'm a legal driver" I say
"It's dinner time" She says

"I'll go to a drive thru" I say

"Oh, good. You're all here" Sam says

He's watering his graduation gown, "Oh, honey, look at you. Oh! I have to get a picture" Mom says

"No, you're a terrible photographer" I say
"I'm getting better. Where's the camera app?" She asks

"Right there" I point

"There we go. Okay. Oh, that's me" She says

"There'll be plenty of time for pictures" He says sitting down

I sit down next to him, "Why are you even wearing that?" I ask
"I'm preparing for the big day, to get used to the feeling of the gown" He says

"Well, how does it feel?" Dad asks

"So far so good. But it is a little cold on my thighs" He says
"Wait—Are you not wearing anything under there?" I ask
"So? Zahid didn't" He says

"Oh, gross!" I exclaim

"Zahid graduated?" Dad asks

"Attention, please. I've gather you all here—" I cut him off, "You didn't gather us, it's dinner" I say

"...to say that while I greatly appreciate your help over the years, I'm no longer in need of your assistance" He says

"What?" Mom asks

"Wait, what is he saying?" Dad asks

"Can you please close your legs?" I ask

"I'm graduating. I need to be independent. So from this point on, I'd like it if you stopped helping me in every single way" He says

"Honey, that has nothing to do—" He cuts her off, "My mind is made up. Mow, if someone could please pass me—never mind" He says

He comes near me, "No, no, no. Get of me! You're naked! Oh, my god. I touched his butt!" I yell

[Morning]

I'm sitting at the kitchen table while my mom tries to help Sam make breakfast but he refuses. Then I get a text from Izzie...

Izz:

Newton!!!! We on for studying tonight?!

Me:

Can't tonight. Family stuff

I place my phone back on the table and try to get my nerves under control, it's just Izzie, she's your friend, stop acting all weird.

[Later On]

I'm sitting in the kitchen, doing work while my mom is cooking, "Don't you just love zucchini bread? It's like cake with vegetables" I don't respond before she sits next to me, "You know...I was intimate with a woman once—" I cut her off, "Oh—Mom!" I yell

"She was vibrant and...spontaneous. She was tender" She says

"God, I need to bleach my ears" I say
"She was tall. She had red hair. She was kind of like a female version of your dad" She says
"This is so terrible, my eyes are watering" I say

"Honey, I made a lot of big mistakes this year. I've become...kind of an expert n accidentally hurting the people I love most. So if you ever want to talk...I'm here" She says
"Sorry, I'm—I'm just still picturing a female Dad. It's not pretty" I say

"You'd be surprised. Very pretty..." I groan, "I may have a picture" She says
"No! No, no no!" I yell

[Later On]

I'm hanging with Jeremy in my room as I explain when mom said earlier, "She said tender. It was the worst moment of my life" I say before my phone buzzes

Izz:

How's family time?

Me:

Same old same old

I look at Jeremy, "You know I love you right?" I ask him

He nods his head, "Yeah, I know. I love you too. Is everything okay?" He asks

I nod my head, "Yeah—Yeah, all good" I say before I pull him into a kiss

"I'm ready" I whisper

He looks at me, "Yeah?" I nod my head, "Okay" He says

He pulls me onto the bed and starts kissing me...

[Next Day]

So, Sam ran away, and we're all freaked out. I called Paige and she told me why. I walked downstairs to find my parents, "I talked to Paige. I think I know why Sam ran away" I say showing them the yearbook

"Oh, no" They say as they read freak, spaz, weirdo, and loser written around his photo

"Why does Sam say he'll always remember becoming a father?" I ask

"He's talking about the baby penguin" Mom says

"Oh" I say

"I think I know where he is" Dad says

[Aquarium]

We find Sam in the penguin exhibit and sit down next to him, "Hey" Mom says

"Hey little dude" Dad says

"Hi, Sam" I say

"You just missed feeding time. It was a real frenzy. Bad day to be a herring" He says

"You know...when you were five...I made a list" She says

"You know you got your love of lists from your mom. She loves a list" Dad says

She chuckles, "I do. Anyway, I made a list of everything I hoped for, for you. I was trying to manage my expectations. Here" She says handing it to him

He unfolds it and reads it, "I hope he makes a friend. I hope he can communicate clearly. I hope he can leave the house on his own. I hope he does okay in school. I hope he finds something he loves to do. Those are so easy" He says

"No. They weren't. They were hard. But every time I thought you couldn't do something, you did it. You're strong...and determined. And I'm so sorry I underestimated you about college. You can do anything. Sometimes I just can't believe that I have these amazing...funny...great kids" She says

"Which one's yours?" I ask

He points, "That one" He says

"With the grey head?" I ask
"No, that one" He says and points

"Oh, with the white wing tips?" Mom asks
"Are you crazy? That's a male? He looks nothing like her. Right there" He says and points again

"She's so cute" Dad says

"Yep. I just hope the other penguins are nice to her" He says

"Yeah, well, even if they're hard on her, every now and then...you're always going to have her back" Dad says