Chapter 8 - It's Final

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Now

Chaewon walks back to the reception after freshening up in the bathroom. She's made sure her eyes don't look bloodshot and tired from all the crying, made sure her face doesn't look as puffy as it had been minutes earlier. She goes back and makes her way to the open bar, determined to at least try to enjoy the rest of the night downing as much alcohol as she can stomach.

Kazuha spots her as she asks the bartender for a glass of scotch.

"Hey. Where were you?" she asks.

Why can't you stop being selfish?

Chaewon breathes out and looks over with a smile.

"Bathroom. The parfait didn't sit well."

Kazuha makes a face, hitting her friend lightly on the shoulder. "Gross. Have you seen Yunjin anywhere though?"

Chaewon looks away, eyes stinging at the mere mention of Yunjin's name.

"Nah. I didn't see her go inside the bathroom either."

The lie rolls off her tongue as if it's the most natural thing in the world. Kazuha eyes her knowingly but Chaewon keeps her eyes straight ahead, pretending to be interested in the different kinds of alcoholic drinks stacked behind the bar. It's a feeble attempt at innocence but she hopes it works anyways.

Kazuha's silence tells her it isn't working.

She kicks herself inwardly.

"Right." Kazuha says after a while. "I should go look for her. We've been asked to play another song."

"At the balcony." Chaewon replies, surprising even herself. She knows Yunjin wasn't okay and that she needed someone so she decides to drop the lie.

After everything, I still fucking care for you, Huh.

"What?"

"At the balcony near the door. Maybe she's still there."

Kazuha knits her brows together, looking at Chaewon in confusion. "Are you okay?"

Chaewon faces her and smiles. "I'm alright. You should go look for her."

It takes all of her strength not to cry again.

Kazuha stares at Chaewon's watery eyes, her forced smile, and it dawns on her.

"Chaewon, I —"

"It's okay, Zuha." Chaewon replies, blinking back tears. "You should go. I'll see you later."

Kazuha puts a hand on her shoulder, "I'll be back."

Chaewon nods and doesn't watch her leave. The bartender places a glass of scotch in front of her and Chaewon's never felt so relieved to see the golden brown liquid shimmering under the lights in her entire life.

--

Then

Yunjin's been thinking about it for a while — leaving.

Leaving the band, leaving Chaewon, leaving everything behind and trying to fix herself before coming back.

She's formed a plan already: get a divorce, finish the comeback and leave. She's gone through it over and over again and every time she does, she finds herself much more scared than the last. She doesn't want to do it, after all, how can she leave everyone? How can she leave Chaewon?

She steps outside and hails a cab, too stressed and anxious to drive to their apartment. Yunjin gets in and stares at the papers on her lap, her feet tapping the floor of the cab as she lets the city pass her by.

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