The Iron Thorn | Theon Greyjoy

23.

Massey

We got through most of dinner without any cause for excitement, Theon and I talking only momentarily so that we didn't raise any suspicion. The guilt over what had happened between us had set in some, I think for the both of us. I sat at my plate, lost in thought and hoping so desperately that it wouldn't be like the first time we had kissed. That he wouldn't return immediately to the brothels. That I wouldn't feel so used, so stupid. I felt myself picking at my gown underneath the table, so I raised my hands to my plate. I was finishing up what food I had left when Robb suddenly offered up some new information.

   "There's to be a hunt tomorrow."

   "What? Since when?" Theon promptly inquired, looking much more annoyed than Robb's announcement had called for.

   "Father informed us today. King Robert declared it." Jon nodded at me as Robb continued speaking, turning to me now. "We'll be gone for a day or two, my lady, but we'll be back before you know it."

   Theon didn't seem too keen on leaving for a hunting trip on such short notice.

   "Would have been nice if I had been told," he muttered with flared nostrils.

   "We were going to tell you this morning before you stormed off like a child," Robb snapped back.

   Theon offered up no reply, he just excused himself calmly and left for his chambers. While Robb generally acted as though Theon were his closest friend, he had days where he felt the need to remind anyone who would listen of Theon's place in their family. Not in their family at all, as Robb would have it, it seemed. I felt sad for him, but I stayed quiet on the matter. Not my place, I thought, especially considering the fragile balance I was keeping between the two of them.

   "Think you'll fair alright without the three of us?" Jon said from across the table, breaking the silence left lingering from Theon's departure. "You might actually have to speak to another living person."

   "Hilarious," I groaned at him. "I think I'll turn in for the night. I'm not even fully dry from the storm earlier. Will I see you boys in the morning?"

   "We'll be a bit preoccupied readying ourselves for the hunt, I'm afraid," Robb sighed.

   "A shame, but I do wish you luck in the hunt. Goodnight, my lord. And to you, Jon."

   I nodded at them, but Robb grabbed my hand and squeezed it before I stood. I looked down to our hands, trying to hide the shame I felt for letting him touch me so soon after Theon had.

   "Goodnight, my lady."

   "Goodnight, Massey. We'll see you soon," Jon added before I turned to leave.

   I had no trouble drifting off to sleep that night. I dreamt that I was a child again, and that my family was visiting Winterfell for the first time. My mother sat with Catelyn as Robb, Jon, and I chased a cat alongside the Godswood. Broden stayed close to my father's leg, not yet comfortable with the rough demeanor of the other boys. In my dream, though, I stopped playing with Robb and Jon. I approached Theon, something I had never actually done when I had come to Winterfell as a child. I dreamt I invited him to play with us. He left Lord's Stark side, not even seeking permission. Even though he was a few years older, he seemed happy to play childish games. Happy to chase a cat around some trees. Happy to be included at all. We went on playing until we were out of our parents' sights. Everything was going so well until suddenly little Robb pushed Theon to the ground. Robb and Jon carried on chasing the cat, but Theon gave up. He stayed down. That's wrong, I thought. He's hurt. Even if they can't see the damage, they've hurt him. I moved to help him up, but just as I extended my hand, I woke up.

   I jolted up in my bed as though I had just had a nightmare. It was still very dark outside, and the rain had returned, albeit much lighter this time around. Relaxing my shoulders, I caught my breath and walked toward a candle on my table so that I could see around my room. The flame illuminated the flowers my brother had sent. I sat and looked at them, stroking the dry petals lightly enough so that they weren't damaged. I reread his first note, then his second and reflected on how glad I was to have him back at my side, even if it were only temporary.

   Like my dream had shaken me awake for a purpose, there was the gentlest knock on my door. More like a tap. It certainly wouldn't have woken me up. I draped my robe over my shoulders and moved for the door, wondering if I had even heard a knock at all. I had half expected to find Sansa on the other side from the delicacy of the sound.

   "Hello," I greeted with bright eyes once my door was open enough to see into the hall.

   "Everyone should be awake soon," Theon said faintly. "I just needed— wanted to come see you before I left. I'm sorry if I woke you."

   "You didn't." I held my robe tighter to my body, but smiled softly at him. "What did you need?"

   I felt my cheeks turn red when Theon reached up and cupped my face with his hands. He placed his lips on mine softly. There was nothing of the aggression from our time yesterday afternoon behind that kiss. It was sweet, tender. Loving, even. Like he was savoring the moment. He pulled back just far enough to prevent our noses from touching. He didn't even open his eyes for several more moments.

   "I want to be with you. Properly. You know that now, right? We'll figure everything out once I get back—"

   "I'm going to tell my father," I interrupted, pulling back to face him. "After the hunt. When you all return, I'm going to tell him that I won't marry Robb. I'm going to tell him that it's you."

   He hesitated a moment, though not as if he were unsure, but as if he wanted to give me the opportunity to change my mind. "You're sure?"

   I wasn't going to change my mind, of course. Hearing that he intended to commit to me was enough to cement my feelings. I nodded definitively. "But, I don't know how he'll take it."

   "Doesn't matter," he whispered quickly, dismissing my worries before kissing me one last time. I could feel him smiling against my lips. Wary as I may have been, his touch somehow made me feel as though everything would be alright.

   I wrapped my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly and expressing my desire for him to be safe on the hunt before he left. "Do not get yourself hurt over a boar. I'll need you around once I tell my family the truth of it all," I joked with a wince. "Perhaps keep your spear handy as well."