Before You

What the hell is going on?

“The journey is mine alone to take, not yours to dominate.”

I stand there, a chill breeze going up my chest through my coat as we’re almost frozen in time. He doesn’t stop, using both his hands to ‘feel me up’. I’m sure he might do something, but he pulls back when a stranger lets out a startled gasp nearby, both of us noticing the heads turning. He grabs my hand, yanking me across the path and into the coffee-bean scented room. The chatter continues, and I force myself to focus on Jess who is now softly gripping my palm to his, instead of the boisterous laughter coming from our table. Jess doesn’t say anything, but I seem to be the only one left out of the loop when Taylor pulls my chair next to Jess’. I glance at the two, sitting in the seat warily until Jess huffs quietly. Our wooden table by the front of the restaurant is booming with silence, nobody saying anything as awkward coughs burst out. My eyebrows furrow and my eyes dart from boy to boy. “Theo.” One of them says, and as I turn Ambrose is pointing his head at the seat beside him where Jess is. His hooded eyes are looking into mine, darkness enveloping me. An expression of annoyance crosses his features while I do nothing, and I hear shuffling as the guys avoid what’s going on. “Theodore.” He repeats my name, like an order this time. I struggle to think of what to do until he signals to his left hand placed on his lap, patting it lightly. I finally reply, shaking my head rapidly. He nods, raising his eyebrows in a stern manner. He leans into me, “If I have to repeat that a third time…” Narrowing my eyes at him, I widen my eyes at the sudden contact on my stomache. The chair screeches and more strangers begin to notice, my heart starts beating faster and faster during the time Jess pulls me into his lap. Even the position makes me uncomfortable, me straddling one of my friends with strangers remarking. I look up, doing my best puppy-dog eyes. He smirks, a twinkle in his brown orbs telling me my embarrassment pleases him. “Stop it. Now.” Although, as I go to pull away from him, his frown etches. His fingers tighten around my wrist, and I won’t be surprised if he cuts off circulation of it. I’m stuck, half on his lap and half falling off as we argue, almost fighting dominance. But he’s stronger, and I can feel my muscles giving in as fatigue sets in. I see Jess smirk, he knows he’s won. “This was a bad idea.” I whisper into him as he pulls me back, guiding my hands more comfortably to his back. “Was it?” It’s not cold, rather cocky when I hear it, and his tone is lighthearted as he lets out a chuckle at my capitulate. ‘Leave me’ I beg silently, though it comes out more of a pitiful whine. “I have to-”

“You have nothing to do. You can stay here as long as I please.” The tips of his fingers dig into my back, uncovering my skin from my shirt as he traces random drawings on them. Believing I am calm, Jess starts off a conversation with his peers. ‘You knew it was a bad idea. I told you it was, imbecile.’ My subconcious growls at me, lecturing my decisions once again. My eyes rest on the middle-aged man’s leg, tapping the ground in a fast pace as he holds a talk with someone. A women. Straight platinum hair, curly, lightish eyes staring into your soul. I observe them, noticing they seem totally interested in each other, though the women’s gaze flickers to the waiter a couple times. I see her gesture at him then at the plates, returning her gaze to the man before excusing herself. The man stands up, pulling her back with a seemingly strong grip. Is roughness normal in relationships? I ponder, my father had always been fond of yelling, Jess has always been rather touchy, the man in front of me had a love of doing both. Yet I smile to myself when they don’t start an argument right in that spot, leaving the cafe quietly while I occupied myself with sowing down my heartbeat.

To say the very least, my plan wasn’t working. After the cafe, the guys had all wanted to browse through stores, ‘preferrebly to buy video games.’ Jackson, a lanky fellow with a huge grin, had been paired with me as they others paired themselves with their other friends, Jess ditching me for Ambrose once again. “Well, what do you wanna do?” His moody voice shows he’s getting annoyed with me as I fake browse through magazines on the shelf. I shrug, still looking through them. “I want to leave.”