Fandom Reader Inserts!

One Shot: Pietro Maximoff X Reader

Pretend everyone flew off into the sunset holding hands in AOU and now everyone lives happily in the Avengers Tower together. Also Clint has Pizza Dog and his deafness is acknowledged❤️

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Tony and Bruce are busy doing whatever science stuff they do, Pepper is at a conference, Natasha and Steve are sparring, Thor's in London with Jane, Vision is out saving some babies or whatever, Wanda is taking a nap, and Clint is at the park playing with his dog, Lucky.
This leaves you alone with Pietro. You haven't spoken to Pietro much in the full two months you've known him, and in the very beginning things were okay, but then The "Incident" That Started The All Out War happened.
The first "incident" started 5 weeks following the day you moved in with the team after you proved yourself to be an Avenger by helping to defeat Ultron.
That day you were taking your underwear out of the dryer. You felt a cool breeze and then saw Pietro sitting on the washing machine.
"Oh, hello Pietro.", you had said while taking out a particularly lacy bra.
He smiled widely at you. In one quick swoosh he snatched the bra out of your hands and was gone. You sprinted towards the fading blur but couldn't possibly keep up. You got the rest of your laundry, took it in your room, and marched your way to Pietro's room.
You found him sitting on his bed playing on his phone. He looked up and grinned at you.
"Where is it?"
He pointed to the dresser, where the bra was casually tossed.
"That was fricking weird, Maximoff.", you said as you walked out.

The second debacle happened a few days after the first "incident". You were using Wanda's shower because there was a spider in yours.
You heard a knock on the bathroom door.
"Wanda, Вы бы поторопиться! Колесо фортуны на! (Wanda, hurry up! The Wheel of Fortune is on!)", Pietro yelled.
You had no idea what he said so you replied, "This is Y/N! Not Wanda!"
"Well in that case, may I come in?", he retorted.
You could practically see the smirk on his face.
"Absolutely not."
After that he left. You got out of the shower and headed to your room in only a towel.
Whoosh. You saw a flash of grey and the towel on your head was gone. You shrieked and started running.
It all happened so quickly but it seemed like it was in slow motion.
"Nooooooooooooooooo!", You screamed as you ran.
Running was no use. You were no match for Pietro's speed.
Whoooooosh. Towel gone. Total nakedness. Pietro stopped only for a split second to wink.
That did not end well. Later that night Steve had to pull you off of Pietro because you tackled him and punched him and he said, "Kinky", so you kept punching him. He was screaming, "UNCLE!"
Wanda was all, "Get off my brother!!"
Tony was in stitches, doubled over.
.....It was a mess.

The third debacle was different. First of all, you had started to grow some feelings for that obnoxious silver haired manchild. Although he could be a douche and didn't know how to flirt properly, you found him charming at times and liked his sense of humor. And second of all, you were cautious. You were going to get him. He started this game, and he would pay. At about 10 o'clock that night you had snuck into Pietro's room while he was in his bathroom getting ready to go to sleep. You hid under his bed with an air horn and silly string in hopes of scaring the дерьмо out of him. Unfortunately you fell asleep sometime during the night and woke to a rude awakening of air horn noises and silly string all over and Pietro's beautiful self cackling in your face at 5 o'clock in the morning.

For the rest of the month: silence. All was quiet on the Western front. Sometimes he held doors open for you and he stopped being a complete tool.

Today it's just you and him. You haven't been one on one with him for a long period of time before, and you're curious about what he's like when Wanda isn't around.
You're sitting in the sofa in Tony's "party room" watching the morning news. Pietro walks up and plops in an arm chair with a HUGE bowl of Cheetos. It's enough for 10 people. But then again, his metabolism is a lot different so you don't call him out on that part.
"Cheetos for breakfast? Really?"
"Yes."
"Why not cereal, or eggs, or fruit?", you say like you're talking to a kindergartener.
Then again, he is one.
Pietro makes a disgusted noise that a goat could've made as easily and reaches for the remote on the coffee table.
"I'm watching this. It's actually pretty cool. Some Scottish SHIELD agent is getting major awards for technology stuff.", you say.
Pietro looks you directly in the eyes and smirks before snatching the remote.
"Would you stop antagonizing me?",you whine.
"Would you stop being so gorgeous?", he says in an equally whiny tone.
"No deal. Let the games continue, Tide Speed Stick."
You look over at him. He's only wearing boxers that are now covered in Cheeto dust.
He extends the bowl to you.
"Want some?"' he says while licking the Cheetos off his fingers.
"Nope."
"Suit yourself."
Just as the agent was about to give his speech, Pietro changes the channel to Ru Paul's Drag Race.
"Work it, queen!", you and Pietro shout in unison.
You both gasp and turn your heads to look at each other.