In Control (HIATUS)

Ch 38: Father's Rage

Ryker pov:

I've been away from my house for about 2 months now. I stopped attending school the night I left and haven't talked to any of my friends or family since then. I wanted to get away from them, I wanted to get away from everything.

How they hell could I let her die? How could I let her be alone and die there by herself. I wish I stayed. I wish Arthur never saved me.  I wish I could have held her as she passed. Instead my brother took me from her. He forced me out of that building, lying and saying we had time to go back and save her.

Because of him I failed her. Because of him she died alone. Because of him I can't let go. I hate that I left her. I hate that she was alone. I hate that he forced me out. I hate my brother. I hate Arthur.

I can't stand being around him or my father. Arthur made a stupid fucking decision and now I'm suffering for it. As for my father, it hurt to see her take his side, again. She's always taken his side. Anytime we argued or disagreed she always took his side.

I think she always took his side because he's just like her. He looks like her. Acts like her, he practically is her. He was different when we were younger but as we grew older he started to be more like her. I couldn't tell if it was because he's just naturally like that or because he was so obsessed with earning her approval that he became like her.

It made me sick. It pissed me off how he could do and say anything and get away with it while I always got in trouble. Sure sometimes I was in the wrong but there are more moments of me being right and being punished then anything. She always takes his side. For that, I hate her too.

Athena is… a child. She's my sister. I have great memories with her and share a deep love for her but she's just that, a child. She doesn't always get the attention she wants so it leads her to needing to do dangerous and outlandish things to get our parents attention. She's a little monster because of their neglect. It's not her fault though.

As for my mom, I'm unsure. I love my mother. More than anything it hurts to leave and know that she'll be heartbroken but I can't stay. Being around the other two is too much for me. My mother works a lot and doesn't have a lot of time but she always does her best to be there for us.

I know she hasn't always had a great life or the best childhood so she tries to be there for us. In some ways she has. With Lyla's incident it has shown. She comforted me and offered her own pain. She held me and listened to me sob and beg for Lyla to come back. She did what all mothers do, feel the pain of their child.

Although, I am a little mad at her. I understand why she did it but it still upsets me. They had to cover up Lyla's death. Pulling some strings they made it look like a random kidnapping and an unfortunate night for all of us, but mostly her. We suffered car accidents while she was taken and blown up by a "faulty" gas line.

Imagine that. Having to lie to your dead girlfriend's family about her death. Having to watch the news play the fake story to keep your own family out of trouble. To see an organization and lifestyle you never wanted to be apart of, get protected.

It's funny right?

Not to me. I never wanted to be in this. At first I accepted to appease my father and gain her favor but as time went on I knew I never wanted it. I'm not like Arthur or her. I'm me. I don't want to be like them. Lyla helped me see that.