Chapter 4

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Over the next couple of weeks Bailey spent more time over at Caitlin and Katie's place and opened up more. She noticed her panic attacks were becoming less and less frequent. What she also noticed was how perfect Caitlin and Katie were for one another.
Ever since Caitlin's first girlfriend when she was in high school Bailey had been very particular about who would be a good fit for her sister. It's not that Caitlin had bad choice in girlfriends, she just wanted the best for her big sister. And she knew deep down that Katie was the girl for her.
She had never seen Caitlin's eyes light up like they do when Katie is around or how much more attentive she has become since starting to date Katie.
And on the other hand Katie is everything Caitlin needs while also being the most caring person.
Now Bailey just needed Caitlin to open up to Katie completely or she knew it would slowly tear them apart.

I'm taking you to lunch today Bailey texted Caitlin one random day when she knew Katie was busy.
Oh what do I owe this special honor for?
Shut up I'll pick you up in 30 
Fine. See you soon ☺️

30 minutes later Bailey was at her sisters door and they were headed off to one of their favorite restaurants. It was a bit of a drive, but had some food that reminded them off home so the drive was worth it.
After they ordered Caitlin paused the conversation.
"You okay? Did you ask me here for any particular reason?"
"Uh yeah I did actually. But it's not because I have a problem."
"What is it then?" Caitlin asked concerned
"I wanted to ask if you've told Katie everything yet? About the accident. About all of it?"
Caitlin suddenly sulked back into her chair and didn't answer.
"I'll take that as a no then. Caitlin you guys have dated for what almost 9 months by now? A year is coming up. She's a keeper. Don't let there be a part of your life you're hiding from her."
"Bailey this isn't your problem to deal with just drop it."
"There ya go again. Getting defensive and putting up walls. Close off everyone so you don't have to deal with your feelings."
"Whatever do you want to take our food to go?"
"No we are going to sit here and talk about this. I love you and I want to see you happy. You made me open up to you. It helped. I'm getting better. I haven't had a panic attack in weeks now. I'm not asking you to spill everything to me but I'm here if you want to. But Katie deserves to know. She loves you so much and if you can't see that you're a dumbass."

Caitlin knew she was right but couldn't admit that. She sat in silence thinking about her sisters words and ignoring the eye rolls from across the table when Bailey realized the conversation was over. They drove home in silence and when they finally got back as Caitlin was getting out of the car Bailey stopped her.
"Cait wait. I'm sorry okay I could have probably been a little nicer about how I went about this but I meant what I said so just give it a thought okay. That's all I ask."
"I will okay. Thanks for today I know I needed to hear it"

Caitlin went back into the house and sat on the couch turning Netflix on. She had been so distracted with her thoughts she didn't even notice Katie came home about 45 min later.

"Hey babe how was your day?"
"Oh uh yeah good went to get lunch with Bales. How was your day?"
As Katie explained everything she realized Caitlin wasn't paying any attention.
"Hello earth to Caitlin" Katie laughed waving her hands in front of her face "what's on your mind babe?"
"Sorry just something Bailey said earlier got me thinking."
"Well what's it about?"
"I can't talk about it"
At this point Katie knew what the conversation had probably been about. Something about her family. Katie thought she had given Caitlin plenty of time to open up so it started to get a bit irritating that she would never talk to her about it.
"Well I'm sorry you can't trust me." Katie said a bit aggressively and headed upstairs to their room. Caitlin could hear the door shut and put a pillow over her head knowing everything Bailey had said was true. This was going to slowly pull Katie and her apart.

After about 20 minutes of building up the courage to go upstairs she made her way to their room to find a red eyed Katie sitting against the headboard. She slowly crawled over to the other side and sat up staring at the wall ahead.

"Growing up I had the perfect life. Perfect parents. An annoying little sister who I would and still would do anything for. Amazing early career. My parents were so supportive and happy. They were always there for me and Bales. They never made us worry about a thing. I didn't realize how much I took for granted until I got that phone call when I was 21. The doctor said the three most important people in my life were all in critical care. I took the first flight I could out of America. My dad died while I was on the plane. My mom died when I was 20 minutes away from the hospital. When I finally got there Bailey was in the ICU and barley breathing. I didn't think she was going to make it either. But somehow she did. And from the second she opened her eyes I made a promise with myself that I wouldn't let her feel any pain again. That I would take it all for myself. I hide all of my feelings so that Bailey wouldn't see me cry all the time. And that lasted for years. Eventually it's become my coping mechanism. But when your mom said there was something wrong with her and I didn't realize I shut down again. I'm sorry I never let you in. I know I've been hurting you. That's what Bailey told me at lunch today. That I need to get it together for you. I know we will need to have more conversations about this. But for now that's all I can say."
"I love you so much Caitlin. Thank you. I know that was really hard for you. I'm so proud of you."
Katie pulled her close and kissed her head while Caitlin cried into her chest. But Caitlin could feel the weight lifted. She knew this was the beginning of her progress. She was proud of herself too

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