(noun) — " a homesickness for a home in which you cannot return to. "
★ — " ily "
" ilym " — ★
★ — " tf u dont !! "
" so much to say yet, it seems i am not quite able find words that suit such appreciation, adoration.. words that suit you. "
@ GOD-COMPLEX — my darling, my love
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if i were to be completely honest, the only words that instantly come to my drained mind are; 'so — fucking — perfect.' yet, those words will never, ever, amount to the thoughts that flood my head at night when i should be sleeping. or the way i get all shaky and flustered by mere compliments about my voice, hair, collarbones (im forever going to remember your initial reaction.. i have it screenshotted too! :3), and even compliments about random trivial aspects.
the thoughts that keep me awake, that drown my pathetic mind during the darker hours of the day. the thoughts that swarm my smitten head, the thoughts that endlessly multiply, the thoughts that never go away, the thoughts about you. thoughts that range from over-thinking to just completely smitten bullshit. worried thoughts about or for you, worried thoughts about how i sounded, worried thoughts about your unexplored genshin map (yes, im including that). but yet, those are losing thoughts, lost in the combat between the pathetic, lovey dovey bull shit that plagues my mind.
pathetic, lovey dovey shit like cuddles, hand holding, late night calls, picnics, etc. which, as delusional as that may be, fills my mind up practically all the time. not to mention absolutely losing my mind at simple petnames that somehow mean the actual world to me. i could probably go on the longest (positive) rant about 'my prince' alone, but i'll spare you your sanity and dignity for now.
something else that i find absolutely perfect is how you're always asking "us or no?" about an absolutely stunning musical piece. makes me so damn happy that i remind you of such angelic songs that at the same time remind me of you. i'll find the most random piece of music that reminds me of you, and in return, you find the the most random piece as well. which perhaps is more true flopped around? you find a piece and i counter with another eventually or perhaps it goes both ways.
—
at no point in my life did i imagine laying in bed, fighting sleep just to be able to talk to someone for even just a sliver of time. at no point did i imagine falling asleep with a mind full of someone. at no point did i imagine actually worrying about how raspy, congested, tired or even high pitched i sound online. at no point did i imagine myself checking an app or my notifications every five minutes in hopes of a message from one particular person. at no point in my life did i imagine being able to love and care for someone as much as i do for you.
you could sum it up to me being absolutely entranced by you. or even me just adoring the absolute fuck out of a perfect person. even if i find expressing feelings so hard that i opt to using the usual 'i love you's or 'i love you more's — which mind you, i do love you more — i could never truly express how grateful i am for you and how much i adore you.
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- with all honesty, this is probably the most embarrassing thing i've written for both me and you.. yet at the same time i have no shame. or well, at least not enough for certain things.. enough shame to not go into depth about how flustered or excited i may get, but not enough shame to refrain from making this.
— with much love, your prince <3
also don't mention this next time we "call" because i will actually strangle myself in embarrassment! :33
