Dare You To Love Me

«17» the hope taken

Yaseerah stared up at the imposing wrought iron gates, uncertainty and an underlying sense of abandonment enveloping her.

She could sense the rapid thud of her heart against her ribcage, each beat echoing in her ears like a warped music note.

Clutching her middle, and seeking strength from the warmth of her own touch, she raised a trembling hand and knocked against the gate hoping against all hope the person she sought after was there.

And if he weren’t, Yaseerah had no idea who else to turn to. As it stood, she wasn’t even sure whether or not her presence would be welcomed there.

When a long moment passed and the gate remained close, an invisible vice tightened around her chest, making it harder to draw breath.

The oxygen she needed felt elusive, slipping through her fingers like fine grains of sand. The shallow inhales barely grazed the surface of her lungs, leaving her gasping for a substantial gulp of air that suddenly seemed out of reach.

The ground beneath her felt unsteady, as if it might crumble beneath the weight of everything she was feeling.

Thoughts collided in her mind like a chaotic storm, each one vying for her attention, yet none offered her solace or clarity.

A silent sob hovered on the edge of her lips, as panic threatened to consume her. Refusing to allow herself to give in to the despair she felt, Yaseerah took a step back, her mind racing as she pondered her next move.

The world seemed to press in on her, and the weight of her circumstances threatened to crush her spirit.

Finally, the tears she had been holding back broke free and spilled down her cheeks.

It was too much.

All of it.

Mamu had a brain tumor; suffering more than she already was, and Yaseerah was powerless to help her. Arzu had been sold to an unknown buyer. Bilal for some reason was angry with her, and Fulan, the one man she thought she could find solace with, was nowhere to be found.

A sob racked through her, echoing in the empty space. She fought to stifle it, but the weight of her emotions overpowered her, leaving her vulnerable in the crumbling silence. The more she tried to suck it back in, the more she broke down.

It wasn’t just Mamu’s illness or Bilal’s outburst, it was everything.

Her whole world was crumbling.

Her family.

Her life.

Nothing will ever be the same again. The weight of it all, it crushed her.

She went to her knees, finally submitting to the waves of grief that had been beckoning her since yesterday.

She had no idea how to go on, how to get back up, and face whatever was coming for her.

She didn’t know if she even wanted to get up.

She was tired.

So tired of everything.

The pretense, the emotional battles, the psychological and physical warfare with her father.

Darkness crept along the edges of her vision. And just as it threatened to engulf her, the gate began to slide open slowly.

The rumble of a car’s engine reached her ears, its vibrations humming through the pavement, but she couldn’t find the strength to stand, or move away from its path.

What a shame, if it ran you over. A shame but nothing devastating.

The engine abruptly cut off, leaving an eerie silence in its wake, but she remained unmoving, as if the weight of her grief had anchored her to that specific spot.