Chapter 19.- La douleur exquise

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I love you, I scream, But I know I am dreaming.

I dreamed of the night I fell asleep holding your hand. Of the night I lost myself in your eyes, and I kiss you. I hold you with the force of a million winds. I don't let go of you. I never let go.

But it's just a dream.

I dreamed of the night I lost you, the night you forgot about me. I can't reach you.

You died later that day. Your blood it's still under my fingernails, stained in my clothes.

And I want to die with you.

That's real.

Everything that kept us apart seems stupid now that you are not here.

I scream I love you, in my dream I scream but you can't hear me. You are not here.

I should have said it when I had the chance. Should have. Should.

None of it matters now.

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Camille woke up to the warmth of her own tears trickling down her cheek, and a void in the middle of her chest.

"Where is he?!" She jolted upright, as soon as she opened her eyes. Her throat ached as she spoke. Ached as if she had screamed for hours. 

"I am glad you've woken up" Her mother sat comfortably beside her dorm bed. Her gaze never leaving the book she held as she spoke.

"Where is he?! Is he alright?!" Camille pushed herself out of the bed in one jump. Her eyes searching her surroundings. How long had it been? Where was Sebastian? She winced down to herself, expecting blood-stained clothing. But her robes were clean. There was no sign his blood had ever stained her skin. The only proof was her aching heart, red eyes and raw throat.

"He is  perfectly fine" She felt as she could breath again "He was given the Draught you had with you when you passed out and is no longer petrified" Her mother pursed her lips as she drank from the small teacup she held between her fingers.

"What?" A frown invaded her face "No. Not Louis. Where is Sebastian? Is he-" She was interrupted abruptly by her mother's piercing gaze and cold tone

"Why do you care what happens to that... boy. You did enough by aiding him. His condition does not concern you. I don't see why would you-"

"MOTHER. IS HE ALIVE?!"

Her mother's nostrils flared at Camille's risen tone, she took in a few breaths before finally speaking "I believe he is" Camille sank her face into her hands and whimpered. Relief flooded her body and she sobbed, Uncaring about what her mother might think.  "Last I heard, the Mediwitch had just closed his wounds. They still needed to replenish the excessive blood loss"

"I need to see him" She quickly reached for her shoes with shaky hands

"Don't you wish to see Dear Louis?" Her mother stood at once

"I-... " She gulped "I will go to him after I've seen Sebastian"

"You will do no such thing" Her mother stepped in front of her. She caught a glimpse of the flowers adorning her hat. A rather odd combination of Dahlias, petunias and blue roses.

"You can't stop me" Camille lifted her chin slightly. Defying her mother for the first time.

"Have you forgotten he too was in danger? Because of you?" Her mother's green eyes narrowed fiercely at her, making her stumble.

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