Distrust/Is It A Game?

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Her fingers slid through my hair, fire in her touch, and before I knew what was happening, water soaked into my clothes, as she pulled me into the tub with her, and our wings tangled together, causing my breath to catch in my throat. The feeling of her soft feathers against my own was exhilarating to say the least, and our fingers traced against one another's skin, her nails softly digging into my flesh, causing goosebumps to arise on my skin. Our lips continued to mingle together passionately, our tongues fighting for dominance, and it took every ounce of my willpower to pull away, realizing that we were quite close to committing an act that I was not certain i was ready for with her just yet. We had only just realized our feelings for one another, and moving too quickly could lead to heartbreak for us both. "Wait- I wish to wait until we get to know one another better. If that's alright." I saw disappointment flash within her gaze, but she nodded, the emotion disappearing as quickly as it had appeared, and she allowed me to pull free and stand up.

I felt as if I had upset her, but after my previous lover, I was not so easily trusting, and I would not give away that special part of myself quite so easily, either. It was all that I had left, and I would not allow it to be taken from me. "I am sorry.. Truly. I would enjoy giving you pleasure very much, but we barely know one another, and I just.. Cannot do that just yet." She stayed silent, washing herself, and I sighed, before leaving the bathroom, changing out of my soaked clothes into fresh ones I found. She was being stubborn and stern yet again, but it was alright. We had established our feelings for one another, and I had set my boundaries on lovemaking, so we were off to a good start, I supposed, though I was not certain if she indeed meant what she had said to me, or if she was merely playing yet another twisted game. However, even if that were the case, I could not help but to play along, my heart already held too tightly in her grasp for me to deny her her plaything.

I sat on my bed, and waited for her, assuming she needed space after I had let her down, and I watched her warily, as she emerged from the bathroom, a black turtleneck and blue jeans taking place of her usual formal attire, though still formal enough to command the respect of her followers should they see her. Her blonde hair fell in waves around her face, and I saw her eyes dart in my direction, before she walked over to one of the tables in her laboratory, picking up scattered files and reading them. "Are you going to start perusing my every movement now, Naomi? Am I truly that fascinating? If you intend to sit there and watch, you could at least be of some use and retrieve those folders on the nightstand beside you for me." I sighed, her tone stern and cold as usual, though it held a hint of softness to it now, and I scooped up the folders she spoke of, carrying them over to her. "i do not know what else to do. I am not meant to leave your home, but I know nothing of your experiments, either, so I- i seem to find myself useless in this situation. And you are quite beautiful when you work."

A slight blush ghosted across her porcelain face, and she muttered something under her breath, before she grabbed my hand, and yanked me closer to the table. "Here. I will teach you a few things, and then, perhaps you will not feel as useless. And once i have finished my work, we could take a stroll through the mountains together, if you wish. I need to pay a visit to Alcina and her brood, after all.. It would be on the way to her castle, so it would be no trouble. Fresh air might do you some good- You are looking rather ill lately." I couldn't stop the slight smile that appeared on my lips at her words. Her attempts at being kind while also trying to be intimidating towards me while she blushed were quite amusing to me. "That sounds lovely, darling." Her face turned dark red, even her ears, at the sentiment, and she swatted me with the folders in her hand. "You are distracting me from my work. Please stop that at once.." I smirked slightly, but went silent, listening to her as she tried to teach me the strange experiments she worked on, and as she wrote down her notes.

It had been so long since I had interactions such as those, where I had someone to speak to and who would listen to me, and a warm feeling spread through my chest, my heart feeling lighter than it had in years. There was still distrust and wariness, my mind knowing that it was likely too good to be believed, that Miranda could suddenly just change her entire personality because of me, but even so, I could not deny that I had fallen in love with her, and deeply, even if it would break me in the end. Even if she were lying, and I were indeed still just an experiment to her, she was now far more than just my captor to me, and I would do anything for her, even if it meant breaking my own heart to do so. I was shaken from my thoughts, as I felt warm fingers gently squeeze my hand, and looked up into her eyes, not having realized she had stopped talking, and was looking at me with something like concern. "What is troubling you, my little angel? You look so very sad. If it is something I said, I am still trying to learn to be.. Better for you. I cannot simply undo centuries of coldness from my heart in mere hours, but I do not want to hurt you, either."

I shook my head, and sighed. "No- You did nothing wrong. I was just thinking about certain things, that is all. It is nothing for you to be worried about. And I do not expect you to change overnight, love. I love you the way you are, and I know you have been through so very much, as have I. We both have things that need to be worked on.." She nodded, though her eyes said that she did not believe me, but in case she were merely playing with my heart, I did not want her knowing that I was onto her. I wished to see what her end game would be, and what would happen between the two of us in the long run, and to do that, I had to follow my own heart, and watch her as well. I would not make the same mistake I had before, or allow myself to be manipulated like that again. I had lost my son because of my stupidity before, but with nothing but myself left to lose, I would be careful.. This time, I would not let my love be the death of me, or at least, not before I attempted to thaw the icy heart of the crow I loved so dearly, the woman who had captured both me and my heart.

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⏰ Last updated: Nov 14, 2023 ⏰

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