My Emotions but They're Just Descriptive Paragraphs

Sadness

"But why are you like this!"

"Because I hate you!" he lowers his arms down as I cower on the couch. My heart shatters. It shatters into more pieces than there are stars in the sky. Stars which I once might've compared to freckles on his face. 

"You... hate me?" I could barely choke out a few words in between sobs. My whole body was shaking violently. My best friend, that I cannot live without, hates me. He would rather talk to anyone else besides me. He would rather be in the company of anyone else besides me. I'm the one he hates. 

I try so had for him. I try so hard, and yet I'm still not enough. I cannot physically function without him, and yet his life would be better without me. I have changed so much because of him. I've dropped so many friends just to be closer to him. But the first time I slip up, or the first time I actually show emotion, I'm just faking it for attention. I can't call his bluffs because then I'm trying to sound special, or I'm just playing the victim. 

"You know that's not what I mean. You just need to find a reason to improve." He speaks in a soft tone as comes closer to me.

"But why? Why do I need to find a reason to approve when I already have one?" I try to reason with him.

"You just need to find somebody that makes you happy and improve for them."

"I do!" I say, raising my voice, "You make me happy. Or at least I thought you did. I try to improve for you because you make me happy."

"You're not listening to what I'm saying. See, you're just making yourself the victim." This is it. I'm sobbing so hard I'm unable to talk. I wish I was dead.