Corvi Cor: Self-Indulgent Ville Hermanni Valo Drabbles

1. November

The cafeteria is loud, unnecessarily loud today. I stared at my phone and scrolled mindlessly on some app on the screen. I couldn't quite distract myself from his wide eyed uncanny stare. Feeling his green eyes piercing through me and burning a hole in the side of my head, I turned my back to him. The boy sighs and grumbles under his breath, and decides to poke my shoulder to bring my attention to him. Begrudgingly, I sigh and rolls my eyes to him. "What...?!"
"Why are you ignoring me?" He gives me his puppy eyed look with his lips curled into a pout. God, I want to smack that fucking face off of him.
"Because you're fucking annoying, Ville." It comes out a bit harsher than I intended. I see him visibly recoil and his kicked puppy face turns into a scowl. He quickly quips back, "Oh, so I'm annoying?!" Damn it Rachel! You're such a bitch!
"...Damn... Too far?" I softly ask, retreating from my earlier comment.
"... Yeah."
An awkward silence fills the air between us, even though the clatter of trays and chatter of others fill the commons.

It has been a year since this strange boy transferred from Helsinki. I first met Ville in my floral design class last year. He had a bit of a hard time since he has asthma and is allergic to cats, dogs, and pollen. I can remember our first conversation.

"Hey, uh... I like your shirt. Type O Negative."
He perked up and looked at me with a smile. "Yeah, uh... I like your shirt too. Depeche Mode."
"Yeah..." I could feel my face turning red and a stupid smile pulling on my lips. I avert my gaze from him shyly, hoping he doesn't notice my shaky hands.

Not much of a conversation to be honest...

I let out a sigh and apologize. Ville stays silent and looks away from me, his gaze softening as his eyes leave me. Damn, I guess I really am a bitch...

Soon the lunch bell dismisses everyone back to class. I should probably leave too... As I stand up, I feel a tap on my back and I begrudgingly look back at whoever did so. Ville looks at me as I look at him. He's doesn't scowl or furrow his brow.
"I should really get to class Ville."
"Alright, just be careful. It's raining outside." He softly smiles at me. I look away, feeling awkward with holding eye contact and mutter, "Okay," before heading outside to walk to class.

• • •

The bell finally rings. I head outside to find my bus. The slight shower had turned into a proper light rain by now. The sky is overcast with greys and the autumn air is crisp. I find myself even more fatigued than in the morning, which isn't unusual at all. All the days seem to blur together anyways, so who wouldn't get tired?

I step on my bus and I'm welcomed by a mostly empty set of seats. Quickly sitting down near the front, some other people start to crowd in slowly. I put in my earbuds and lean against the window after choosing a playlist. I just want to go home and rot in bed...

I felt the seat shift as another person sat next to me. They didn't even ask if it was okay. How rude. They heaved a sigh and leaned back with the shitty cushions creaking slightly. I tried to pay them no mind until I felt a firm yet gentle hand on my shoulder while the other took out one of my earbuds. "Rachel..." I heard the familiar baritone voice with a slight Finnish accent. He took a breath in before continuing, "Is everything alright?"
"... Yeah..." I shouldn't burden him anyways. He already has enough on his plate. "Just... tired."
"Darling," he replies with his smooth voice, "You're always tired." I feel his eyes on me. I do not dare to look back at him, for I am a pathetic coward.
Sigh... "Yes Ville, I'm always tired."
"Love, you can always tell me what's going on, no matter how small or stupid it seems. Even if you don't give a rat's ass about it," He pauses for a beat, "I will listen to you. I care, Rachel."
"...Ville," I pause to find the words that are slipping through my grasp, "I'm honestly just tired. I have nothing to say anyways."
"How's physics going then?"
Ouch. I sharply inhale to calm my nerves. "I got a 56 on a test."
"...Damn..."
"...Yeah... The whole class failed."
"...Damn..!"
I sigh, and there's an awkward silence as the bus starts to move.

I am so stupid...