Corvi Cor: Self-Indulgent Ville Hermanni Valo Drabbles

2. Candles

Before I knew it, time flew by quick.
Too quick.

The last candle was extinguished and everyone cheered. Ville's lips were curled into a toothy grin as he hugged his mother, father, and brother. To say that I felt out of place was an understatement. Everyone around me conversed in Finnish, probably congratulating him and wishing him well. I gave Ville a polite nod and smiled awkwardly, not wanting to seem rude or unhappy.

Why did he even invite me? Looking down at my shoes, the smile plastered on my face slowly fades as I disappear into the scene. Why do I even feel like this?

I feel a tap on my shoulder. I turn around and see a ten year old boy with long dirty blonde hair. Before I can greet him, he starts speaking to me in Finnish. My mind draws a complete blank and I just smile politely and blink. Oh god... He doesn't seem to be stopping anytime soon.

"Jesse!" I look at the person who spoke. Ville approaches me and apologizes. "Sorry about that darling, this is my younger brother Jesse."
I awkwardly wave back and introduce myself.

• • •

"Happy birthday Ville."
"Thank you darling."
"... Yeah..." I mumble and plaster a smile on my face.
"Rachel... You know, you can talk to me."
"Oh, um... I'm good. Just uh..." I quickly search for an excuse. "I didn't sleep well last night. Sorry if I... yeah."
"Why are you apologizing sweetheart? You don't need to."
"Oh uh... my bad. Habit." I chuckle dryly to ease the tension and to soothe my nerves in vain. He looks at me with increasing concern, like he sees right through me. Damn it, keep smiling.
"It's okay love, take your time." He offers a small comforting smile. God, it's contagious like the plague. I try to formulate a reply but end up stuttering and stumbling like some babbling idiot. Pull yourself together!
"I- uh... err... I-I... I... will..."
"I will be waiting for you then." He softly speaks, looking straight into me.

• • •

Fucking finally... I'm in the comfort of my bed. I lay in my desolate room, no light, no people, just me. It's only 6 PM and it's already dark.

Sound of nothing more-
twilight's past; sky's reverie
My heart weeps again

Maybe I should just try to sleep it off.

•  •  •

It's night. The cold air whips any hint of skin it touches. It bites me with its stinging numb pain. I find myself in the middle of a desert, and peculiarly I see a lavish casino right in the middle of this wretched place. I approach the neon flashing lights to find some shelter and enter.

Lively swing jazz music fills my ears as I see crowds of the womem in flapper gowns and jewelry decorated with diamonds, pearls, and gold, or the dandy gentlemen in zoot suits with matching hats and the finest watch on their arms. Clouds of tobacco smoke fill the air as well as the sound of chips, cards, and money being handled. They seem to wear the same theatrical mask of comedy and to be busy with talking about something. They don't see me or notice me. Despite the welcoming haven this place seems, it is no paradise. I am not welcome here.
Slowly, I feel their eyes stare into me as the whole building quiets.

... ... ...

I breathe slowly to not make a sound.
I have to get out of here. I turn around to where the door was and it's now just an infinite expanse of slot machines as far as I see.
I hear a faint enchanting melody in some unintelligible language. It's calming tone now eerie and providing false comfort. The female singer sings like a songbird of some sort.
I'm trapped here in an eternal purgatory awaiting judgment.

Las Vegas or Heaven...
or simply
Hell again?

•  •  •

Bolting wake up in a cold sweat again, I heave a sigh.

Damn these dreams.

"Shit... I didn't give Ville a birthday present."

God damn it. God damns everything.