Mr. Rowan's Destiny

Chapter 3 | Tease and Torment

It's 3 a.m. in the morning and I'm not asleep. I stare at Lucas who was sound asleep beside me while I'm being tortured with questionable thoughts running wild in my head. 

I can't believe how this man still got the balls to sleep beside me as if he did not just insult his wife at work yesterday. 

What's weird is that I didn't stop him. The old me would've kicked him to the ground and have him sleep on the couch as a payback for insulting me, especially in front of a woman who makes my blood boil. 

I continue plucking each petal from the rose in my hand, in attempt to solve my dilemma. 

"To divorce... Or not divorce. To divorce... Or not divorce," I don't stop chanting until I pluck the last petal of the flower. Two minutes felt so long by the time I reached the last petal, and the option it showed me caused a smile creep up to my face. 

I turn around to look at Lucas, his face bringing no joy or love to me. 

The last petal indeed showed me the best solution for the trouble; To divorce.

•••

There might be no tears falling from my eyes, but I evidently knew that my heart cried as I watched Lucas sign the divorce papers with absolutely no emotion or guilt. The fact that Sydney was standing right behind him patting his shoulder did nothing good to the way I was feeling. Worthless and unwanted. That's how I felt. 

Growing up in a house with people that made me feel like I'm just a clump of cells fit for existence and making them some bucks, Lucas was one of those very rare people in my life that made me feel like a person who deserves love, but here he is, not bothered to even ask me if I'm totally wanting this separation.

He's... He's not ready to fight. 

"Let's go, honey?" Sydney encircles her arm around Lucas and kisses his cheek causing the acids in my stomach to go wild before a heavy pile of liquid reaches up to my throat. 

'Honey'? Since when did that start?

So I don't have the trouble to stalk him anymore to find if he was cheating; Because he was indeed cheating. The way Sydney was behaving all this time is a great evidence to shut this investigation. 

The only thing I'm glad about after this agitated and mortifying moment is that I'm finally free of his unfaithful and disgusting presence, although a good part of me feels like begging him not to leave. 

I can't do that. It was me who wanted to leave in the first place. It was me who signed up for this separation. It was me who is responsible for this ruckus, so there's no way I'm gonna put my self-respect aside to beg an asshole to stay.

I walk to my mother sitting in the corner of the room with a sullen expression plastered on her face, looking at me like I just made the most disgraceful decision in my life.

"If you're going to lecture me about how you think I made the wrong decision, then you're free to leave before you start," With that being said, a deep sigh escapes her and she wastes no time manifesting her ego in this situation so she walks toward the door of the small courtroom with her head held high.

I wait until the new couple leaves in the same car and once my mother is also out of sight, I exhale all the emotions as a drop of tear trickles down my cheek and falls on my heels.

I stand on the same spot reconsidering the move I just made by divorcing my hus--

You mean, ex-husband.

Here we go again. I bottle up all the frustration within me and walk out of the room like a depressed patient coming out after their first therapy session.