Waves Of Despair (MuiTan - TanMui)

Chapter Five - No One Cares.. And No One Ever Will

Didn't re-read it, sorry for any mistakes

Next day

"Alright, have you written down what I told you?" Tanjiro asked when he got to class and I nodded, handing him a paper with my fear foods and safe foods.

He looked at it and frowned, saying "that's.. a lot" he mumbled quietly and sat down at his seat. "I know it is.." I responded, looking down at my lap, feeling ashamed of myself for making him deal with this.. why did I even tell him in the first place? Wouldn't it be better if I just didn't open up to anyone..? No no, he'll help me recover.. that's good.. H-He won't use it against m-

"Muichiro!" Tanjiro yelled out, waving his hand in front of my face to snap me out of my thoughts. "S-Sorry, I was thinking about something" I apologized quickly "what were you saying?"

"I asked why are you scared of these foods like.. avocado, aren't those healthy?"

I knew he would ask about that, ugh I am gonna sound like a nerd now "avocados have too much fat in them" I responded and rested my head on my palm.

"I see.. hey I have than idea, how about you we hangout today, I'll buy you something small, maybe you can try to eat one of th-"

"No, I am not eating any of those" I said with an annoyed tone "just the thought of biting into one of them is making me sick"

I heard Tanjiro sigh, it was clear that he really didn't know what to do, it made me feel horrible, he was trying his best and yet I was acting like an ungrateful brat.

"Okay how about we look at your safe foods instead.. rice.. oatmeal.. toasts.. scrambled eggs.. hmm, I can try to make something for you, my mom makes really good stir fried rice, how about you try that?" He asked, his eyes filled with hope and worry.

I wanted to say no, knowing I won't be able to eat much and probably purge it out later but I didn't want to make him feel worse about himself so I just nodded.

"Great! I am glad I thought of something that might help.. I am not very well educated in this kind of stuff" he chuckled a bit and put the list in his book "I'll keep it and maybe make something for you tomorrow! Because you don't like food in the cafeteria, am I right?"

“I hate it..” I mumbled under my breath, suddenly hearing someone burst through the classroom door. The girl from the day before walked in, immediately going over to our desk. “Hi Tanjiroo! Wanna hangout with us after school?” She said excitedly “we'll go to that new cafe” 

Tanjiro shook his head and turned to look at me “I am hanging out with Muichiro today, maybe another day”

She rolled her eyes and took a quick look at me “if you say so” she replied and walked out of the classroom again. “You can.. go with them.. we can hang out tomorrow, I have nothing better to do” I said, knowing that he won't have any fun with me, will just force me to eat and end up being disappointed.

Tanjiro sighed “I already promised to be with you, I d-”

“Just go with them.. please” I mumbled quietly and looked away from him. I wanted to be with him.. but the thought of him being bored with me.. hurted, I didn't want him to be bored, I didn't want to waste his time like that.