Drabbles

You Were Everything To Him

This one is a rather heavy one I wrote, and it goes deeper into death and dealing with grief and trauma, so please take this as a trigger warning before reading further. And also, I have never written anything like it, so this is a first...

For this oneshot I was thinking about THAT scene in season 6 and what could have happened had things not turned out so well as they did on the show. So this is Cora, the widow for you...

S6E5 / 1925

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She lay there, in her usually comfortable bed, unmoving, barely even breathing at all, but it was not comfortable at all. It hurt going to bed alone, it hurt waking up alone, it hurt being alone in their bedroom. It all just hurt too much, and it all felt so wrong. She felt numb, and at the same time, she also felt it all, felt everything, all at once. She did not want to breathe. How could she when he was not? But her body ached and screamed at her to inhale oxygen. And, albeit reluctantly, she listened to her body, over and over again. She needed to keep going, for him and for the family they had started together years ago. What would he say if he saw her like this?

No, she needed to get herself together, especially today. It was going to be a hard and long day, and so very painful. But it was her duty, her duty to him, to their family, to the estate and all the people in the village. Duty had meant a lot to him, and so it meant a lot to her.

Cora sat up on the edge of her bed, waiting to stand up until the dizziness had lessened slightly, and tugged at the chord that would ring the bell for Baxter.

Her lady's maid had seemingly been very close already since the door opened after what felt like a second to her. But then again, maybe that was just her perception of things. It seemed all quite warped to her.

"Good morning, my lady. I have brought you some breakfast. I know that you said that you did not want any, but you do need to eat, you need strength, especially today," said Baxter when she entered with a tray in her hands.

Cora, who was then standing near the window overlooking the garden, only managed a weak smile in the woman's direction.

"I will just put it here on the dresser, in case you decide to eat a little something later on. Shall we start getting dressed, my lady?"

Instead of answering, Cora turned around and went over to the chair where Baxter had already put out her clothes for the day. All black, of course. It reminded her again of the occasion, something she did not want to be reminded of.

Baxter smiled at Cora with empathy and her own sadness reflected in her eyes. She had not worked for the Countess for that long, only roughly three years, but she was very fond of her employers. The both of them were very kind and generous people, and Baxter felt for her mistress. She could not fathom what losing a husband like that must have felt like, especially with the special bond they had shared. They had both so very clearly been in love with each other, even after more than thirty years of marriage, she could tell by their exchanged looks and the way they spoke to one another so endearingly.

Not wanting to disturb her even more, Baxter worked quickly and silently on getting her dressed before leaving the blue bedroom again to attend to the rest of the things on her list of duties for the day.

Cora had a look at the breakfast tray on the dresser and immediately felt sick to her stomach, but Baxter was right. She needed to eat something, or else she might not be able to make it through the day. The small piece of toast she ate would hopefully suffice since that was all she managed to get down.

She looked around the room that felt strangely empty, even though everything that was supposed to be there, was. Even his book was still lying on the bedside table just where he had put it the night before everything changed, a bookmark stuck somewhere in the middle where he had last read.