You Don't Have To Be So Brave With Me

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Robert was coming home. It had been two weeks since that fateful dinner party, a night she would never be able to forget, and now he was finally returning from the village hospital.

Cora was standing by the window in the small library of Downton, anxiously peeking out and letting her eyes wander over the grass and gravel leading all the way down to the gates of their estate.

He was supposed to arrive at the abbey at half past two. A quick look at the clock to her right told her that they were running late, almost half an hour already.

What if something had happened, what if he was not coming home after all?

Then, as her mind began to spin with all the what-ifs she could possibly come up with, each one worse than the one before, she saw a big motor coming up the gravel driveway. It was driving slowly, much too slowly for her liking, but after a while, she saw that this was the ambulance bringing him home. For the past two weeks, there was nothing she had wanted more than to simply hold him in her arms, to feel his presence with her while it was so sorely missed. She had found it hard to fall asleep without him next to her in bed every night, not that she would admit to that.

Quickly, Cora turned on her heel and left the room. With long strides, she crossed the entrance hall and walked out the front door to welcome him, just like they always did with their guests. Right when she came to a halt outside the grand wooden doors of their family home, the back doors of the ambulance opened and she got to look directly into his face, a sight she had been looking forward to for days now.

She had been so incredibly scared when they took him and rushed him to emergency surgery at the village hospital. She had been afraid that she would never get to see him again, that she would never get to see his gentle smile and feel his loving gaze on her, ever again.

The image of him lying in a pool of his own blood on the dining room floor, trying to tell her he loved her — it haunted her. She might have appeared put together as she tried to calm him down, but that was really just a façade. Deep down, she had been scared out of her mind, had been afraid of losing him forever. However much she had wanted to, she simply could not allow herself to fall to pieces in front of everyone — least of all their daughters, who had to watch their father be rushed away, covered in blood.

When Robert saw her, his face lit up into such a bright smile. But even the brightest and most sincere of smiles couldn't get rid of the dark circles under his eyes. His unusually sallow complexion worried her, as did his sunken cheeks. She had to remind herself that he had just undergone a major emergency surgery — of course, he was not going to come back home the picture of health. A gastrectomy was not to be underestimated, that's what Doctor Clarkson had told her when she visited Robert the morning after the incident.

She had expected him not to look his usual self, but not quite as bad as this. It would take a while and exceptionally good nursing to get him back on his feet. Cora was determined to help him as best she could.

The people who had driven him there set about getting his stretcher out of the ambulance to take him inside and up to the bedroom like they had been instructed to. Robert winced noticeably when they hoisted him out of the car, the sudden movement causing his fresh wound to hurt again despite the strong painkillers he had been given ahead of his departure from the village hospital.

"Cora!" he exclaimed weakly as they started to carry him inside past her. Upon this, though, the men stopped and waited until the Countess had had a chance to greet him.

„Welcome home, my dear. They will take you up to our room and I will join you as soon as I have talked to Doctor Clarkson," his wife replied reassuringly, letting her hand graze over his arm as he was carried inside once more.

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