Drabbles

To Grow Older With You, Still

after ANE / 1928

They were lying in bed, both entangled under the sheets, with his arm wrapped around her slender body. She had always been slender, but this was not healthy, and the realization pained him to no end. He was lying next to her in bed every single night, and most of the time he had her in his strong embrace to give her some warmth and comfort. How had he never noticed that she had lost this much weight?

Robert looked down at the woman who was still sleeping soundly in his arms, her face more relaxed than he had seen her in a long time. Now that he knew of her secret, he realised how often she had had that pained look on her face, how often she had looked so exhausted, but she had never said a single word. She had done it to protect him, of course. She had kept it hidden from him out of love, he was so sure of it and the mere thought of her wanting to protect him by keeping it to herself hurt him. She had always been there for him when he needed her, and where had he been when she had needed him so desperately?

Like most mornings he had woken up before her, but this time he had no intentions of letting go of her and getting out of bed to start his day. Sure, he would have to leave their bed at one point, but today he would wait, he would only leave the warmth and comfort of their shared bed after he had looked into her mesmerizingly blue eyes and had seen that signature smile she gave him every morning when she greeted him. How will he ever be able to start his day in any other way? When her Good morning was all that was giving him the energy and the motivation to go about his day, when it was her Good morning that made him look forward to the time that dinner had come and gone, and he finally got to have her all to himself - to talk, to kiss or to just lie in bed in comfortable silence with her by his side.

The early sun's rays were peeking through the half-drawn curtains and illuminated the beautiful light blue room in soft and gentle hues. A hesitant beam of light shone directly on her face, and how it had not woken her up yet was quite beyond him. But it gave him a chance to look at her sleeping, relaxed and oh so beautiful face.

He looked at her closed eyes, her long eyelashes softly grazing her cheeks and he thought of how they always fluttered coyly whenever he complimented her. When he had first noticed this little habit of hers, he promised himself to do so more frequently, if only to see her blush and smile at him shyly. He glanced at her nose and had to think of how cute she looked when she was overjoyed about something and it scrunched up ever so slightly, giving her that young and gleeful look he had always admired. He marvelled at her rose-coloured lips and thought of the truly countless times he had kissed them - sometimes only fleetingly, barely touching at all, at other times deeply, eagerly and hungrily for her, needing her closer still. He could have sworn he even felt her lips on his at that moment, he was so familiar with them. He looked at her beautiful, dark brown hair that, as usual, had been tied neatly into a braid the night before and in his mind, he recalled the soft feeling of it whenever he would run his fingers through it as gently as he could.

But then, in the soft morning light, he saw them. The few and barely noticeable grey hairs. Small streaks of silvery-grey were appearing in her long, dark hair. He had never seen them before, or he had never noticed them. They were not all that visible from afar, he thought in his own defense, there were too few of them still, but being so close to her at that moment, he could see them - and he felt this strange sense of pride.

His eyes flickered back to her face as she slightly stirred in his arms, and he studied the lines on her face. He had seen them before, obviously, especially during the days when she was displeased with something, or when she was attending some of her work and had to think thoroughly. He had to smile at the adorableness he always perceived when she would furrow her brows when thinking of how to address a difficult topic in a letter she was writing. But most importantly he saw them when she was happy, when her eyes were twinkling with mirth and she had that wide, toothy smile on her face. Usually, this was when their grandchildren came down for tea and she got to spend time with them, reading them stories or telling them of adventures she had had with their grandpapa in her younger years. Or sometimes she just talked to them about their day spent with Nanny. It always warmed his heart to see her interact with their beloved grandchildren. The valuable hours they spent with Sybbie, George, Marigold and little Caroline were usually when she was the truest version of herself, apart from the time they spent together just the two of them.