Other Worlds Than These

Ten Feet Tall, Behind Your Wall

It was 10:00 AM on a warm August morning, and Hiro Hamada was still in bed. He had spent the night staring up at his ceiling, slept for two hours, and woke up feeling worse than before. Today he was staring up at his ceiling again. If he looked anywhere else in his room, something would remind him of Tadashi. To his left was Tadashi's empty bed, in front of him was a poster for Tadashi's favorite band, to his right was Tadashi's favorite jacket that Hiro had stolen long ago, hung on top of Hiro's desk chair. Looking at any of it just reminded the kid that his big brother wasn't here anymore.

It had only been five days since the fire. The funeral was two days ago. Hiro was able to tell the time by the type of food Aunt Cass left for him to not eat. Today it was French toast. It would normally be one of his favorite foods, except there was no Tadashi to spray whipped cream at anymore. A piece of his soul had burned to ash in that fire and Hiro was just an empty shell.

He heard Aunt Cass start making her way up the stairs. He sighed, not wanting to talk. He wanted to be alone. He deserved to be alone, as alone as Tadashi was in that fire trying to find Professor Callaghan. But still, the footsteps kept coming, much to his dismay. He continued to stare at the ceiling when she opened the door.

"Hiro?"

Hiro didn't respond. She sat down at the edge of his bed. He sat up a little to look at her.

"Hiro.. I'm going to meet with your friends at the park. Everything's.... it's all been rough for everyone. We're going to go get some fresh air and see if it helps."

Hiro still didn't respond.

"If you want to come with.. you can. It might be good to talk to someone."

"I don't want to go." Hiro replied, voice flat and apathetic.

"That's fine, too. If you change your mind, call me and I can come get you. Or you can video call us."

Hiro nodded. Cass reached out to hug him, squeezing him perhaps a little too tight. It was like she was worried that he too would disappear. Hiro didn't really return the hug, but didn't refuse it either. It felt okay, even though nothing in his life was okay right now.

He couldn't imagine how his aunt felt. She had to re-open the cafe yesterday. They didn't have enough money saved up to stay closed for longer, not after all the money they had to pay for Tadashi's funeral. But, despite that, she was closing up for a few hours just to comfort Tadashi's friends. Some friend Hiro was, he thought, for not finding it in himself to show up at all.

Cass eventually let go of him. He would think she was completely stoic, if he hadn't heard her sobbing every night, louder than he did. She turned to leave, but before she did, she said something.

"Love you, Hiro."

"Love you too."

And with that, Cass made her way back downstairs. Hiro didn't get out of bed, but he didn't go back to staring at the ceiling either. He grabbed his phone from his nightstand. 30 texts he hadn't replied to, mostly from Fred and Honey Lemon, 8 missed calls, and his lockscreen was a selfie of him and Tadashi. He turned off his phone and put it back.

He heard Cass' car start up and pull out into the street. He still didn't know what to do with himself. He was stuck in this rut where he felt like he deserved to stay like this. Like it was his fault Tadashi was dead, if Hiro had been faster he could've pulled his brother back and saved them both from the fire. There were so many what ifs in his mind. He didn't know if he'd ever get out.

He decided to look out of the window, not wanting to stare at the ceiling anymore but still not ready to face all the things in his and Tadashi's- no, just his, room, that reminded him of Tadashi. The window he was looking out of looked back into the alley behind the cafe. Nobody really went in there, there were just a few trash cans lying around. Empty, shaded by the buildings around it, and narrow. An eyesore, really.