Salad, Sandwiches, Dainties and Punch

Chapter 4

It was a Thursday funeral, and things were running smoothly. Ken had been old enough that he had lived a good life, but young enough that he still had friends to attend. It was a good mix of friends, family, old colleagues and community members. Teresa had been back and forth in the church kitchen refilling trays and mixing ice tea. The egg salad sandwiches and nanaimo bars, as always, were flying off the table. The small bowl of potato salad at the end of the table sat untouched. Obviously.

"Teresa." A familiar face walked into the church kitchen and took a seat at the big rectangular table in the middle of the room. "James," Teresa replied nodding, "How are you keeping?" Before he could answer he had a cup of coffee in front of him. "Where's Peter?" Teresa asked as she set another cup of coffee at the table. "Coming," James said simply before taking his first sip. "Oh they're buying the cheap stuff again," James swirled his coffee around in his cup before taking another sip. "Church budget," Teresa shrugged, "gotta cut costs somewhere." "They better be careful not to lose customers. I only come here for the coffee," laughing at himself.

"What'd I miss?" Peter heard the laughter and was always worried that he'd missed the joke. "Nothing," James insisted, knowing it'd bug Peter to no end. "This guy bothering you Teresa?" Peter tried his luck with Teresa and was relieved when she told him that James was pestering her about the church coffee. He took an investigative sip, and had to agree. "Ya they really need to find the money to buy some decent coffee," but the conversation had already shifted.

"Good turnout," Peter watched Teresa as she bustled around the church kitchen. Teresa was arranging dainties on little paper doilies. "Big family," she nodded, cutting into a new 9 x 13 pan of nanaimo squares. "You gonna cut us a piece of that," James' stomach was starting to grumble. "Just the ugly pieces," Teresa said automatically. Peter laughed. "It all tastes the same," he said, patting his stomach, and they let Teresa work in peace while they waited for their ugly corner pieces.

Teresa took the new tray of dainties out to the church auditorium. This was a hungry group! Not that she was complaining. Having lots of work to do always made the time go by faster. ... "and then he said it was a weird garden." A group of ladies Teresa knew burst into laughter. "Who's got a weird garden now?" Teresa inquired. "Oh, one of the grandkids called the cemetery a weird garden when they explained to him that they buried people here," Teresa smirked. Kids sure had a way of livening up a funeral she thought. She looked at the gaggle of kids in short pants and ties and wondered which one it was.

The fresh tray of dainties caused a bit of a swarming effect, like moths to a porch light as guests big and small swooped in to see what had been set out. As she watched the crowd she couldn't help but wonder how the social event planning committee would do without her, but was interrupted by a ruckus from the main entrance hallway.

It was a mixture of whirring, thumping and clanking. By the time Teresa made it out of the auditorium and into the hallway James and Peter were already there watching the front end of an electric scooter retreat back into the ladies bathroom door. "Janice!" Teresa mumbled under her breath and a moment later they heard a terrible clatter before Janice re emerged into the hallway panting from the strain of maneuvering the scooter in and out of the church bathroom. Parked just outside the doorway to the bathroom Janice used her hands to straighten her hair before turning to James and Peter.

"One of those toilets is clogged," she said matter of factly. James nodded at Janice, "I'll take a look." "You might want to give it a few minutes," Janice called back as she cruised by them on her scooter through the double doors into the auditorium. James knocked first on the door frame to make sure the bathroom was empty before he popped his head in. He recoiled back, "Whew, she wasn't kidding!" At this Peter had to pop his head in too to confirm that yes it did stink to high heaven in there. Teresa was satisfied that he was telling the truth and stayed put.

"Looks like she got caught up on the garbage can while she was trying to get out," James looked at Teresa as she looked over her shoulder at the bustling crowd enjoying coffee, tea, and punch inside the auditorium. "Peter and I will take care of it," he reassured her and Teresa breathed a huge sigh of relief. Teresa walked to the entrance of the auditorium and leaned up against the door frame where she could see Janice who was trying to parallel park her scooter up against the food table while the front and back of her scooter nudged against the back and sides of the guests dress pant covered legs.

Linda appeared at Teresa's elbow. "Teresa," Linda half whispered half hissed, "Janice!" "I know," Teresa nodded and turned one hand up in resignation. They watched in silence as Janice started piling sandwiches and dainties on her lap. She had now gotten the attention of some poor girl and was directing her to bring her punch. The young girl had handed her the punch and promptly disappeared into the crowd. 'Smart girl,' Teresa thought.

It was only a matter of moments as Janice lurched forward on her scooter to get closer to the pickle tray and spilled the rhubarb punch all over her white and worn Vince Gill live in concert tshirt that she had worn today. Jancie deposited her now wet sandwiches and plate in a heap on the white table cloth and grabbed a stack of paper napkins as she rubbed the pink juice into her shirt so aggressively that it left paper remnants behind. She abandoned her first plate, filling another foregoing the punch this time and promptly scootered out of the auditorium.

She stopped short, turning to Teresa and Linda, "What are you doing with all the leftovers?" she asked with a mouthful of egg salad sandwich. "It will be wrapped up carefully and taken to the grieving family Janice. As it should," Teresa tried to sound as stern as possible. "Oh ya, I guess that makes sense." Without another word Janice drove her scooter around the corner and out of sight. Teresa was fuming and Linda fumed with her in silence until they heard the banging of metal and glass as she tried to exit the church.

"Can you..." Teresa began but Linda was already halfway across the auditorium on her way to clean up Janice's mess and Teresa breathed a sigh of relief. She'd have to thank Linda for that later. She may not be able to find her way out of a wet paper bag, but she sure could clean. Teresa could sense that things were starting to wrap up and  headed back to the kitchen to organize the trays of leftover food that were to be sent with the families in peace.