Lifeline

Panic

I didn't go in the doors to the school after Westin parked his truck, I turned straight around and walked towards the cafe where Lily, Kaya and I ditched the one time. I left my phone in Westins car, I didn't want anyone contacting me.

The morning had passed my in a blur, nothing had made sense, my head feeling so fuzzy. I once again spoke to nobody. At this point I'm not sure I ever will.

I got there quickly, to focused on the tightness in my chest to notice the walk.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think.

I barely made out the words asking for a water from the cashier. Water was good. Water would help.

The room was blurry and my mind was shutting down.

Breathe.

I had to breathe or I wouldn't make it.

I had never had a panic attack in public and I wasn't going to start now.

I made it to a table and then something wet dripped on my hand. I looked up, but I felt my cheeks were wet. I was crying.

I had to stop.

People were looking at me.

Breathe.

Or try, I legitimately felt like I was dying.

I couldn't do this.

I wouldn't be okay.

I was alone in this world and nothing would change that.

I want a hug from Ashton.

I wanted to hear Grayson's voice

I wanted Ezra's lame attempts to cheer me up

I even want the twins to joke with me.

At least then I could breathe.

The room was spinning to fast to focus. No matter how hard I tried it remained blurry.

I couldn't do this.

I didn't want to do this.

It was to much.

Someone, anyone save me please.

I was sobbing now.

But I was on my own, no one was coming for me.

A/n I know this is super short but I wanted her panic attack to be its own chapter, to show how it is such an internal battle the real world was completely shut out during it.