My whole life from birth to age 20 has been one hell of a roller coaster, a crazy ride and I don't remember half of it. Some call it the trauma block. I guess it could be that, but I do remember very small moments. Sometimes they have significant meaning and a lot of them are just random. It confuses me. It's like a disconnect somewhere; there's a wire missing. I miss childhood, it's so much more simpler than adulthood.
You know how they say everyone plays outside with their friends for the last time without knowing it's the last time? Or when you eat with your high school friends for the last time? When your parents pick you up and carry you for the last time? Well, that last one, I remember for some reason.
I am four years old, Dad just came home from work and I run up to him. I told him I had a good day at school. God, I loved school. I loved learning and reading. He says he is glad I had a good day, then picks me up into the air. I can see the top shelf of the cabinet that is right outside my bedroom. That is so cool, I've never been tall enough to see that top shelf. Dad says I'm getting heavy and he isn't sure how much longer he can carry me. I giggle very loud. I am four and not yet offended when an adult points out I am getting heavier. I don't remember when he puts me down, but I know that is the last time Dad ever picked me up. Mom already wasn't by that point; her last time I don't remember. That is also the only memory in my adolescence that I am not scared of Dad. Dad was hilarious and I loved him.
But I never saw the very top of that cabinet until I was ten years old and used the step ladder.
YOU ARE READING
Disconnected
Non-FictionWhen I was thirteen years old, I thought it was weird when I heard my best friend say 'I love you' to her parents. Yup, you read that correctly. When I think of my childhood, it's only blurs of moments that I remember, abruptly ending in my memory...
