The Prisoners Son

All Out of Fight

The next few days at the Malfoy's were quiet. He kept himself to himself as often as he could, only leaving his room for dinner, and that was only because if Sept didn't see him at the table he dragged him out of his room. He did manage to avoid other meals though.

It was the night before the boys headed back to school, and Kai pushed his food around his plate as everyone else spoke. He hadn't noticed Narcissa addressing him until Sept nudged him, drawing his eyes up from his plate, it was obvious from the dark circles under his eyes that he hadn't slept much.

"Sorry, Auntie." he murmured, looking up at her, his gaze soft as he met her own. Narcissa had never given him much reason to dislike her unlike Lucius, she just didn't do much to help either.

"Are you all packed and ready for school? Do you need me to help?" She repeated softly, looking at her nephew with pity, knowing how hard Lucius had been on the boy the last few weeks. She felt powerless, watching her nephew become less and less of himself. He was no longer the bright-eyed little boy who was the spitting image of his father, instead, now he was replaced by a boy whose gaze was often withdrawn and glazed over.

"Oh.. No, I'm all packed and ready. Thank you, though." he replied, his eyes flickering back to his plate.

"And you still understand the rules when you return to the castle?" Lucius asked, quirking a brow as he lifted his silver goblet full of red wine.

"Very much so, Uncle." Kai sighed, running a hand through his messy hair.

"So there will be no-"

"I said I understand. No Remus. I get it. I'll go to his class and that's it." The boy growled, getting up from his seat and throwing the napkin that had been on his lap over the plate before leaving the table. Patience running thin, and anger boiled over. He needed to calm himself, but he felt the urge to break something, watch something break into pieces - to watch something fall apart like he wished he could.

The others looked shocked at the outburst, it was unlike Kai to show his anger outright but rather sit with it quietly unless cornered and forced to face it head-on. It was now that Sept was realising the extent of his cousin's situation.

Lucius had a faint smile on his face, it was working. It was all coming together. This is what he wanted, and by the time his time came, he'd be ready.

He didn't speak a word to anyone in the Malfoy house, or on the way to the train station, he didn't even say goodbye to either Narcissa or Lucius, just boarded the train to find an empty carriage. The boy once more had isolated himself into a carriage alone. He had mixed feelings about coming back to the castle with Lucius' threat hanging heavy over him. Sitting with his hood up, headphones on, and sketchbook in hand. He always found drawing helped when he felt anxious.

Once back at the castle, the boy dropped off his belongings at his dorm and left, not uttering a single word to his friends as he did so. He was heading to walk the grounds, stopping by the lake where Remus had found him before Christmas. Sitting on a large rock he watched the wind blow dusty snow over the top of the ice, making it swirl and spiral in the air. It helped soothe him a little.

He'd been sitting there for a while when he heard footsteps crunching in the snow behind him, turned to see Sept approaching him. The older boy didn't say anything, just moved to sit next to his cousin, looking down at the ground as he contemplated his words carefully.

"I'm sorry, Kai. For my father.. I wish I knew what game he was playing, but I don't." he murmured. He'd been trying to figure out for years what the game plan was with having his cousin living with them for years, but his mother and father had kept their cards tight to their chest for this one.

"It's not your fault, Sept. I told you that." Kai rasped, every part of his body felt numb and cold, except his eyes which burnt as he held back tears.

"Yeah, but still.." he frowned, "It doesn't make me feel less guilty."

"What do you want me to say, Sept?" The boy sighed, turning to his cousin. Couldn't this family just leave him the fuck alone? He didn't want to be angry at Sept, he knew he meant well, but he didn't know what was to gain out of him coming here.

"I don't know... Get mad, or hit me... Just.. Feel something."

Kai rolled his eyes, "I'm not going to hit you." he told him, shaking his head. "I am mad, Sept. I'm really fucking mad... I want so badly to scream or break something. I want to let all this anger out so I don't have to keep it inside anymore... But I can't. I don't have that luxury. The second I break, everyone will be talking about how much I am like my father. How I'm dangerous."

"But they are already doing that, Kai." Sept murmured.

"Exactly! Sept.. Don't you get it? If I break now, it will get so much worse. And-" He closed his eyes as he desperately tried to fight back the tears that were filling his eyes. "And, I have only made it this far through the school year because of Remus, I can't go to him anymore. I can't go to him or anyone else.. No one understands what this is like. I know you and all my other friends try, I can see that and I appreciate it.. But.. This is so hard." he rasped, the lump in his throat hurt as he continued to fight the need to let it all out.

Looking at his cousin the older boy could see the scared nine-year-old that arrived at their house one night, he hadn't ever seen anyone look as lost and broken as that little boy until now. He still remembered how Kai had kept himself locked in his room for five days straight, refusing to open up for anyone other than the house elves. Narcissa had tried everything to try and make the boy comfortable, but nothing ever really clicked. Still to this day, he knew how much the younger boy hated returning to the mansion, never truly seeing it as a home but rather a place he was forced to return to, never getting comfortable enough to settle in. He knew he got little to no sleep there, summers were long for him, and he skipped meals to avoid Lucius most days. There were many little things Sept knew about his cousin that he was certain other people didn't know, mostly because they overlooked all the finer details when they compared him to his father. It's why he started writing to Remus all those years ago, it's why he'd continue to ensure Remus knew all the little things about him.

"Kai, you aren't alone." The blond whispered, furrowing his brows at his cousin. "I'm not like my father, I wouldn't ever tell him either.. If you need to see Remus and need cover for it if he ever does ask.. I can lie for you."

"I'm not risking Remus' employment, Sept. Not a chance in hell. And, I'm not risking you getting in trouble with your father. This issue lives and dies with me and him, dragging other people into this isn't going to fix anything." He sighed, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Kai..." 

"I'll be fine, Sept." he murmured, running a hand through his hair. "I promise." 

The blonde looked his cousin over slowly, knowing full well that he was far from 'fine', but he wasn't going to press the matter. Instead, he nodded, "OK, but if that changes you come find me." 

The younger boy nodded, "Deal." he agreed. 

Sept hesitated for a moment before leaving, it didn't sit well leaving Kai alone when he was like this, but he knew he needed time to process everything. He'd make sure he was there when it fully hit him.

Once he was finally alone, he pulled his knees to his chest. The familiar and comforting noises of the castle grounds kept him anchored in his emotions; the sounds of the birds singing, the distant gallops of centaurs, the crunch of footsteps in the snow, and distant chatter from other students. It all felt so close yet distant enough that he knew he wouldn't be seen with the silent tears that fell from his eyes.