Hatefully His

Chapter Five

The inside of Windsor Hall is virtually the same as my dorm, however there is a drastic difference between my room and Sterlings.

Homework started being assigned today and as I'd sat in my dorm reading pages and highlighting passages, Sterling had texted and invited me to come hangout in her dorm. And since I felt like I was about to cry from the boredom of my readings, I'd said yes.

So now I stood in her doorway with a bag of salt and vinegar chips in my hand, taking in the decor. "Well are you gonna come in or just stand there all night?" Sterling laughs and I snap out of it, offering her a sheepish smile and crossing the threshold.

Every square inch is covered in posters, pictures, and art. Plants and vines take up any remaining space and a large record player sits on her nightstand. Despite her gothic look, the room is bursting with an overwhelming amount of color.

"I like what you've done with the place," I compliment. Sterling turns in a circle and looks around at her room.

"Thanks, I like to feel like I'm always on an acid trip." she jokes and then plops down on her bed.

I take a seat next to her and hold up the bag of chips. "I brought snacks," I announce and she smiles, tearing into the bag.

"So how'd the second day go?" she asks after shoving a handful of chips in her mouth.

"It was fine, uneventful," I tell her and it's the truth.

Leo wasn't in english today and I was still trying to figure out why I had felt disappointed when I realized he wasn't coming.

"Sorry I couldn't have lunch with you," Sterling apologies and I shake my head.

"No, I already have so much work to do so I just went to the library and studied," I explain, not wanting her to feel bad for going to Art Club at lunch.

"Nerd," she mocks as she shoves my shoulder. I laugh and fall back into her pillows before righting myself.

Unable to contain my curiosity anymore, I play with my hair and glance at her.

"So, do you know Leo Sullivan?" I prod and she snorts, making me realize that was a dumb way to ask.

"Yeah, everyone knows Leo," she answers.

"What's his deal?" I ask, trying to feign nonchalance.

Sterling scrunches up her nose as she thinks about how to sum him up.

"He's a player, fucks a lot of girls but never dates them. Some are his regulars but they still don't mean shit to him," she begins and for some reason I feel like I could throw up from that information "most people actually like him, though he's a bit full of himself. But with a face and body like that and the family he comes from, I guess it's warranted." she shrugs and I take that in.

"By his family, you mean owning the school?" I inquire.

"Partly, but mostly because his dad is a very powerful, important man and when Leo graduates he'll take over his dads position. He's not just peaking in high school." she explains.

Before I can ask what exactly that powerful position is, Sterling's smiling slyly at me and nudging me with her shoulder.

"Why are you asking, you got a crush?" she taunts and I feel my face flush.

"What! No, of course not!" I practically yell and she laughs, proving how unconvincing I sound.

"I-I was just curious. Honestly, I think he's a bit of a jerk." I remark and that seems to peak her interest.

"Really? I thought he'd be all over you and using his charm to get you into bed." she smiles and I make a face like the thought disgusts me.

"If you consider calling me a whore charming, then sure." I declare, hoping the hurt I felt from that insult isn't conveyed in my tone.

"Oh wow, are you sure he wasn't just being kinky?" she asks and I can't help but laugh a little.

"Positive." I tell her and she leans back on her bed frame, taking the chips with her.

"Huh, well maybe it's just a case of boy pulling little girls' pigtails because he likes her?" she theorizes and I shrug.

"If that's the case then he needs to grow up, but I doubt it," I say before leaning forward and snatching the chips back.

"It's probably best that you stay away anyway. Leo uses and tosses girls and he'll break a nice, sweet girl like you," she cautions and I try not to be offended that she makes me sound like a breakable flower. I really don't have much experience with guys. "Leo only really cares about his two friends and himself." she concludes and I raise my eyebrows as a sign to elaborate.

"Dylan, whose dad... works with his dad, and Ronan, the cunt." Her dislike for Ronan is obvious with the way she says his name, like it leaves a bad taste in her mouth.

"Now, Ronan and Leo make perfect sense. Dylan on the other hand seems too friendly for their group but I guess family ties bring them together." she shrugs.

I want to ask more questions. My curiosity about Leo is like a bottomless pit that can't be filled but Sterling shakes her head.

"Come on, let's talk about something besides boys. If we were in a movie, we wouldn't be passing the bechdel test," she jokes.

Sterling changes the subject to her mom and what a nag she's being. I try to listen and contribute but my mind keeps replaying what she said about all the girls Leo sleeps with. Why do I even care?

I try to tell myself he can sleep with whoever he pleases, but I can't help the thought that I hope he contracts gonorrhea from it.

I realize with a start that in a matter of two days, Leo Sullivan has managed to take up an unhealthy amount of my thoughts. I'm normally a good listener and don't have to put in effort to care what my friends are saying.

Yet here I am, giving Sterling half-assed responses as my mind focuses on a guy who isn't even nice to me. Am I really so shallow that I want a guy just for his looks?

I decide at that moment that Leo Sullivan is a parasite, and I need to start ignoring his presence before he infects me.

With that adamant thought, I force my attention back to Sterling and ask her questions about her mom and family.

I head back to my dorm room two hours later, having laughed till tears ran down my face with Sterling and devoured the bag of chips.

That night when I go to bed, I don't allow myself to think about he who shall not be named. Instead I say a silent apology to my eardrums and fall asleep with a podcast blaring in my airpods.