We Know The Price We Pay

27. September. 2277 - James Matthew Davis

Annie, I hope you are alright, and I hope Amata is taking care of you. But you need not fret. Your mother and I will always be there for you, even if it is from afar.

This past month in Rivet City has been immensely paradoxical. Quite productive yet unproductive, all experienced at once. Though I wish she were more willing to discuss Project Purity, Madison has let me stay with her, so long as I stay out of the way of her and her staff. I am sure, now, if you ever need her, she will do the same for you. She has been rather concerned for you, Annie, and I hope to God she does not need to be. If there is reason to believe something terrible has happened to you, and if I am unable to protect you, then I will have failed before I have even begun. No, I could not go on if I were to lose you, my sweet little girl, the same little girl who would dance around the apartment humming to herself, and who has always refused to cut her hair because she has always wanted to be Rapunzel, if only her hair had darkened during her childhood. You had your mother's hair for so long, it, truly, was a surprise when your hair turned to a light brown, such as mine, after having reddish blonde hair as an infant and a toddler. You were so little, so tiny at birth you did not even fit into your baby clothes. Knowing you are healthy and grown now is a relief, and knowing you are safe with Amata, as well, is what has kept me going. I hope you will understand.

I will return, Annie, you need not worry about that.

Things are not quite right here. So much time away has truly blinded me from what life is like inside Rivet City despite having lived here for so long with your mother before your birth, Annie. What has been the most difficult part of being here again, however, has not been the noise of the city compared to the almost painful silence of the Vault, some nights, and instead has been living with Madison. I cannot imagine anyone else in this city of being possessed by the same kindness and understanding as Madi, certainly not now she has permitted me to live in her home with no stipulations attached. I have been sleeping well, now the adrenaline has left me, though I feel rather strange about sleeping each night on Madison's couch. I know it would be improper, but a part of me would like to sleep beside her. She is a calming presence, at least, for me, however I do know better than to be so selfish as to ask for such a thing. She already does so damn much for people without me making her life more difficult. Perhaps that is what I have become. The one thing, the one person whom, by virtue of his impulsivity, I am is a potentially mad, desperate man who feels – no, who knows – he must do all of this to preserve his wife's memory and as such is difficult to understand.

The most uneasy of my feelings towards Madi of late have been, though, of a more explicit and physical nature. I had never thought of her in such a way before, and yet now...

No, I cannot. I cannot betray the solemn oath I swore to you, Catherine. I should not be having such thoughts. She has been so startled by and, understandably, upset by my reappearance, too. It would not do to act on such thoughts, even though I have found, in dreams, an unnerving desire to spend more time with her, and to, perhaps, slide her perfectly pressed blouse off her...

No, no, no. I must focus, and focus on our work. Project Purity is the reason I am here, the reason I need Madison. This is an endeavour I cannot hope to complete of my own volition, and she is one of the only people who knows the project as intimately as I do. There are precious few people with the drive to even attempt a project so vast, and, from what I have heard, especially now with the Enclave's increased aggression but, even so, they do exist. Madison is one of them. If it were not for her, Project Purity never would have gone far beyond a fleeting notion. We have the opportunity, now, to complete it and, finally, provide the people of the region with clean, free, and easily accessible water. Once I find Vault 112 and the GECK, I will be able to return and, I hope, she will be open to returning to the endeavour then. For now, however, I am stuck, going through file after file to attempt to find any records of the location of Vault 112. The Vault and the GECK are the key.