Fixing the Broken

Lydias Background

"I'm so grateful I didn't end up with what I thought I wanted."

When I imagined what adulthood would look like for me, ending up disabled in an abusive relationship was not part of my dream. When I turned 20 my life was perfect, I was in Nursing school working full-time as a home health CNA, the healthiest I had been in my entire life. That October suddenly my perfect life was hit like a train by reality or some shit like that. It was 2020 and a Pandemic was taking over the world, but it was okay because everyone said it didn't hurt or affect young people only the elderly and already disabled. SUPRISE! That was a BIG FAT LIE! I was caring for 7 COVID Positive patients with a broken foot because no one was willing to go into the home except me and one other person so we split the day into 12-hour shifts for 9 days. Finally, the day came when their other home health aides could return safely. I decided to go to the hospital where I was admitted with COVID my vitals were dangerous and my broken foot was the last thing on anyone's mind. I spent 3 weeks fighting for my life and walked out of that hospital on 35 medications and needing a 24/7 caregiver. I could not stand without passing out, I was severely malnourished unable to keep anything including water down, and exhausted no matter how much I slept. The week after being released from the hospital I found my grandfather in a mess of a state, I took him to the hospital and came back home with him on hospice. I moved in with him for the next 6 months until he passed peacefully. During the time I cared for my grandfather, I continued to try and take nursing courses but I was not careful taking care of my health. I ended up having to drop out of college after I passed out and aspirated in the middle of an anatomy exam. But through all of these sudden changes, I met Nathan who I thought was a godsend.... boy was I wrong. He had his good, he helped me find god through the catholic church and he took care of me. I was baptized, confirmed, and received my first communion the night before Easter in 2022. I didn't know I was being abused the entire relationship but my sisters noticed things were off and forced me to leave him. My legs had just stopped working and I was dependent on a walker or wheelchair now. For almost an entire year I stood by that he was not abusive and was just misunderstood, that was until the flashbacks and nightmares began. I continued to keep everything I was a secret and struggled in silence. That was before I met a boy at church. A boy who I thought was cute but wanted nothing to do with. A boy who one by one began to break down every wall I fought to keep up. A boy with a gentle smile and swoopy hair. A boy that makes each day better without an idea. A boy who for the first time sees me and not my body. 

This is a story about how friendship fixed a girl who thought she was unfixable. A broken girl who was put back together with golden glue to make her more precious.