Unwritten Memories

Ji Jiangjun's letter to his beloved

I was never numb. My eyes were never blind. For the very first time you saw me, I knew you liked me. Do I sound arrogant?

But I never want you to like me to the fullest, I only see you as my brother, my bestfriend, and my comrade. For someone like me, my feet was already six feet below. You don't have to like me, you don't have to do anything to make me feel special. I knew, I always knew.

And yet, this was my greatest regret. For not letting you open your true feelings for me. For not letting myself to love you back.

Would it be alright if I come to you and told you that I like you too?

Wouldn't it be embarrassing for me to fall for someone like you? You were the summer that everyone's want and I am the calamity that destroys everyone's life.

Do I still have the chance to you?

Do you still like me?

I'm sorry for not telling how much I love you. I was afraid, you're too good for me. So much that all I can do was to daydream about you, to be mesmerized how beautiful you are.

I am willing to be your shield from every arrows and sword. To covered my full hands with flesh and blood. You are too precious to me. I always want to protect you. I don't want to lose you. I'd rather die than to see you losing your rays. You were always my sun.

Am I selfish? 

How irony it was? The day I realized that I like you was the day that I started to love you more than myself.

I'm sorry, for my mind was completely decided to die for you. I know that you have a good future, I don't want you to waste it for me.

If the second life was true. For sure, I am always yours.