Wait For You (Noah Sebastian)

Chapter 7

Ever since the night of the show, I'd been in my head a lot. My thoughts were constant, keeping me up at night. It was impossible to relax. Emma knew something was wrong, but she seemed to know not to push it. Noah had messaged me a couple more times. I'd replied to them all, but I kept the responses short and avoided keeping the conversation going. I just wasn't in the right headspace to talk, and I really needed to get it together.

I decided to take myself out on a walk to try to stop myself going crazy. I shuffled my playlist, turning the volume up high, letting Sleep Token drown out any noise around me. I couldn't understand why I felt this way. Ending things with Sam was supposed to be a new start, a positive change. A chance to be myself. I hadn't realised how much of myself I'd been holding back when I'd been with him.

I thought about all the emotions I'd felt since the break up as I walked. I had moments of feeling happy, that was mostly when we were all together as a group, but when I was on my own, my mind would spiral. As I turned the corner to start heading back to the house, I heard Noah's voice cutting through my thoughts. I'd forgotten Bad Omens were on the playlist I'd put on. It was the acoustic version of 'If Im There'. His voice was calming, I wanted to close my eyes and take it all in. Instead, all I could do was stare ahead, slowing down my pace and focusing all of my attention on the song. 

Noah. 

I felt sad as I thought of him. Not because he made me sad, he'd actually been one of the only people to make me feel happy recently, amongst all these other emotions and feelings. I realised maybe I missed his company whilst he had been away. He had the ability to make me laugh and forget everything else. I had been really enjoying how much closer we'd become. 

Emma's comments quickly entered my head. She was right, Noah's a good guy. Anyone would be lucky to be with him, but that didn't mean we would work like that. There is no way Noah saw me that way either. And even if he ever did, nothing could ruin this friendship we had. There wasn't just the friendship between Noah and I, but the dynamic of our whole friendship group to think about if something happened. The thought of messing that up scared me. I couldn't lose them.

I internally cursed myself for even giving it any thought. The walk was supposed to clear my head, not make it worse. As I approached the house, I decided I needed to keep myself as busy as possible to avoid any more thoughts. I made a mental note of all the tasks I could get done, starting with clearing out some old clothes.

It hadn't been easy to keep my mind occupied. Especially as their return had been approaching, the guys had been more active in the group chat, planning an end of tour night out. I let the conversation flow between everyone, keeping out of it mostly, just liking messages here and there. The day came around so quickly. I felt in a better place mentally, even though I hadn't curbed my thoughts completely. I was looking forward to the night, I couldn't wait to see everyone again, but I also felt slightly anxious for no particular reason I could explain.

Noah: Hope you're excited for tonight! You've been quiet in the chat, hope you have been alright

I read the message, staring at it for a while, trying to think of a response. Noah didn't wait for a reply before sending another message though.

Noah:  Told you I'd find somewhere for you to wear your red dress to didn't I...tonight is the perfect place!

I'm not sure I'll be wearing that tonight

Noah: Well, I think you should! 

I sighed at the little options I had left after having the huge clear out recently. The red dress being one of the only choices I had. I went to Emma's room to find her already dressed.

"Why aren't you ready yet!?" she asked as she turned and noticed my hoodie and sweatpants. 

"I really don't know what to wear!" I complained. 

"Let me see" Emma said, prompting me to show her my options. She followed me to my room, where I had only a few things left hanging up.

"Damn, where did half your clothes go?" she said as she took in the sight. 

"I had a clear out...I think I need to go shopping for some replacements" 

"Too right" she laughed. "Well, good job we got this!" she said pulling out the red dress with a grin.

"Of course you choose that, do you not think it's a bit too much?" 

"Absolutely not!" She encouraged. 

"Hm, Noah suggested I wear it too..." I admitted, contemplating it. 

"Of course he did" she wiggled her eyebrows. 

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. She didn't reply, a grin plastered on her face as she threw the dress at me and began leaving the room.

"Just wear it...you'll look hot" she called out as she exited. 

I reminded myself that I had wanted to find somewhere to wear it to and have an excuse to dress up a bit more for once. I decided to try it on, fighting any self-doubt. I looked at myself in the mirror, it hugged my body in all the right places. I smiled, feeling a sudden rush of confidence. I added some jewellery and finished off my hair and makeup before taking a photo in the mirror. Without thinking about it for too long, knowing I'd decide against it or pick out a flaw, I quickly sent it to Noah. 

Happy now?

Noah: Damn girl!

He replied almost immediately, making my face turn the color of the dress. 

Noah: Looks good, glad you went with my suggestion. See you soon! 

Well, it was Emma who convinced me, not you, before you take any credit Sebastian. See you soon.