The Chronicles Of Chardee

Chapter 3: Certified Lover Girl

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*Girls Need Love (Girls Mix) By Summer Walker* literally every feature is a bop!

Now I did say this was a HOE phase, and we only covered 3 of the 5 hoes that was on my roster so I hope y'all can keep up with me. The other guy I was entertaining was actually number 1 on my roster before I met Mr.Libra. We will call him Bones, because he was super skinny and tall. Now Bones and I actually met at a park and got to know each other super authentically. He was a cutie, except when he finally broke the news that he had a ONE YEAR OLD CHILD! I swear I hate ninjas because why this man waited until he saw me in person to tell me that. He knew he was wrong for that!

The conversation was so good that I honestly thought he had a little sugar in the tank based off his mannerisms, so I was fully prepared to make him a good friend rather than one of my hoes. That was until he spoke of his kid though.

"To be honest, I don't date people with kids because I don't have a kid and I don't live a 'young adult with a kid' lifestyle", I explained firmly, as we sat in my parked car chatting.

"Yeah, I respect that but I tell girls all the time that my son has a mom and is well taken care of. I don't understand why its such a deal breaker for everybody like I know I'm young but I'm getting my shit together." He started to lowkey rant and I picked up on the somewhat desperate energy that he exuded.

"I get that completely, that's just not my cup of tea because I don't even really know if I'll ever want kids so it would be a waste of both of our times; your cool though, we can definitely be good friends because I like talking to you." I said with an optimistic attitude to soften the rejection.

It's so funny to think about that first impression because we ended up getting into some explicit activities after hanging out a couple more times and chileeee let me tell y'all! WORSE SEXUAL EXPERIENCE EVER!! 0/10 WOULD NOT recommend. It was so disappointing too because I could Tell that he was a genuinely good guy for the most part and he was looking for love truly. I just couldn't understand how any girl would let a man with a D that small put a BABY inside her. And then this man kept sticking his entire tongue in my ear holes! It felt like I was getting WET WILLIES I was cringing so bad. The clean freak in me shivers till this day just thinking about it like

EW....

I mean he said he had a thing with ears but never in a million years did I think it was THAT. His babymom must've been in love, that's all I'll say about that.

To fast forward back to the present a bit, I ended up just telling him that we weren't "sexually compatible" because after giving him one more chance to prove himself sexually, I couldn't endure it any more. I was so disappointed but that's what I get for thinking all skinny ninjas was slangin *facepalm*. Needless to say, we are still pretty good friends and talk to each other about our hoe phases and regular life stuff every now and then, which I can appreciate.

Anyhow, let's make sure we're all on the same page. Bones is cool but no longer on the roster, Mr. Libra comes along at number 1 for a good couple weeks and at this point, I'm keeping Bones updated because we are cool like that. Edward is some I can text or call for good conversation and occasional weirdness and then there's contestant number 5; A medium ugly Taurus with nothing to his name but a place to live, a possible "accidental" baby on the way, and AUDACITY.

We'll call this one Ty. Ty was another phone buddy that I would talk to mostly when I was bored. Sometimes he was cool but the way he talked would tell me everything I needed to know about him. He didn't have a car, but said he didn't care to have one because he had just got hired to work as a public transportation driver and
"they got free public transportation".